TV Movie Guide

May 9 – 15

SATURDAY

Yes, I Do TVNZ 2, 1.20pm Starring Jessica Lowndes, Marcus Rosner. Busy chocolatier Charlotte has left helicopter mechanic James at the altar three times. She now needs to prove to him that she really does want to marry him. ★★

Evan Almighty Three, 7pm Starring Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman. In this bland follow-up to the hit Bruce Almighty, Freeman as God instructs news anchorman turned congressman Steve Carell to build an ark. The two leads do what they can with a weak script, but the producers were dreaming if they thought they could reproduce the success of the original with this tenuously linked sequel. ★★

The Secret Of The Sword M ori TV, 7pm Voices John Erwin, Melendy Britt. A 1980s animated superhero movie featuring He-Man and She-Ra, who together fight the evil Hordak. It’s a mixture of magic and various mythologies wrapped into a kid-friendly package. Not bad at all. ★★★

The Emoji Movie TVNZ 2, 7pm

Voices T J Miller, James Corden. Gene is an emoji living in Textopolis but is sentenced to deletion after he messes up a message his user Alex sends to his crush. But Gene escapes the agents sent to destroy him and desperately tries to find a hacker who can fix things. Sounds fun, but it is somewhat annoying – much like emojis in general. ★

Midsommar Director’s Cut Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor. If you’re after a good scare, try Hereditary director Ari Aster’s latest offering. It centres on a group of university friends who travel to Sweden to take part in a pagan festival at an ancestral commune, read cult. The 1970s classic horror The Wicker Man had a similar pagan theme and, like that movie, Midsommar is more unsettling than frightening. ★★★★

Wedding Crashers TVNZ 2, 8.30pm Starring Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn. Surprisingly well-rounded comedy with best buds Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson as habitual wedding crashers, competing to see who can score the best bridesmaid. If you can ignore the cliches, this is decent entertainment, largely thanks to a great supporting cast (notably Isla Fisher and Jane Seymour) and the comedy talents of the two leads. ★★★

Revolutionary Road M ori TV, 8.40pm Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet. Reunited 11 years after the epic movie that shaped their careers, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet portray a typical 1950s American couple who both feel trapped in their unhappy, adulterous marriage. It is bleak, but beautifully done and you would be hard-pressed to name two finer contemporary actors than DiCaprio and Winslet. ★★★★

Get Out Three, 8.45pm Starring Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams. A Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner situation turns to horror when a black photographer meets his bride-to-be’s parents at their secluded mansion. It’s a deliciously black comedy and a great first-time effort from actor/comedian Jordan Peele. ★★★★★

BlacKKKlansman Three, 10.40pm Starring J Adam Driver, John David Washington. Did a black policeman once infiltrate the Ku

Klux Klan? Well, not really. African-American officer Ron Ashworth somehow tricked KKK luminaries, including Grand Wizard David Duke, into believing he was a would-be member, but over the phone. A fellow officer fronted up for the face-to-face meetings. Great fun, but only loosely based on the far less dramatic real events. ★★★★

Wild Card TVNZ 2, 10.45pm

Starring Jason Statham, Michael Angarano. A bodyguard has to contend with the mob when he seeks revenge after a friend is beaten up. It is set around the Vegas gambling industry and Statham again does what he usually does so reliably. ★★★

Triple 9 TVNZ 2, 12.25am (Sun)

Starring Casey Affleck, Chiwetel Ejiofor. Pulp-style crime thriller about a gang who are blackmailed by the wife of a Russian mobster. The plot involves wounding a cop – the Triple 9 is code for ‘officer down’ – and a corrupt policeman nominates his new partner as the unwitting target. It’s full-on action, complemented by a top cast including Kate Winslet and Woody Harrelson, and lots of fun despite some gaping plot holes. ★★★

SUNDAY

Wonder Woman TVNZ 2, 7pm

Starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine. This latest entry into the until now rocky DC Extended Universe reinvigorates the superhero genre in a way that’s a joy to watch. Most of this is down to the mesmerising Gal Gadot who, along with Chris Pine, tells a compelling story packed with humour and charm while staying true to the source material of an Amazon race living an idyllic island life. It’s the first female-led superhero movie since 2004’s dreadful Catwoman and Gadot’s performance guarantees it won’t be the last. Pine, as pilot Steve Trainor, provides the perfect counterweight to the all-caring Wonder Woman who smashes the glass ceiling in every way. ★★★★★

Kung Fu Panda 3 Three, 7pm Voices Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman. Jack Black returns to voice the lovable yet goofball Po, along with a cast of celebrity voices who not only add weight but lots of laughs. Stylish and smart, it’s an action-packed film with some heart-felt moments guaranteed to appeal to children and adults alike. ★★★★

The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants Bravo, 7pm Starring Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel. Four teenage girls are bonded by a lifelong friendship and one seemingly magical pair of jeans. Touching on issues of love, divorce, death and friendship, it’s a moving story that is not just for teens. ★★★

The Second Mother M ori TV, 8.30pm Starring Regina Case, Michel Joelsas. Brazilian film that explores family and class. It centres on Val, a woman who leaves her home town to take up a position as a housemaid to a wealthy family in Sao Paulo, and becomes a second mother to the family’s son. But tensions arise when her daughter arrives to stay with her. It is cleverly scripted and carefully nuanced. ★★★★

Late Night Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Emma Thompson, Mindy Kaling. Thompson plays popular US talk host Katherine Newbury whose brand of humour is well past its sell-by date. So the network seemingly gives her the chance to right the ship, while secretly hiring someone younger and funnier to take over. Newbury suspects her pale, stale, male writers are to blame, so – in a token gesture – hires

Molly Patel (Mindy Kaling), who is of Indian heritage. Kaling is good value, but things run in a linear fashion, knocked marginally off course by a bit of domestic strife between Newbury and her ailing husband (John Lithgow). ★★★

The Breaker Uppers Three, 8.40pm Starring, Madeleine Sami, James Rolleston. New Zealand cinema can rightly be proud of its Hollywood stars, ace directors and the beautiful locations that grace many great films. But there is a simpler side to the industry of which we can applaud, too. The Breaker Upperers is a case in point. It’s an hilarious, low-budget effort from Madeleine Sami and Jackie van Beek, who wrote, directed and star in this tale about a dating agency in reverse – one that specialises in helping people dump their significant others. James Rolleston continues his comeback here as a teen who hires the agency to help finish his relationship with his girlfriend, and ends up becoming romantically involved with Sami’s character. ★★★

Last Action Hero TVNZ Duke, 9pm

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien. Considered a huge flop in 1993, Arnold

Schwarzenegger’s post-Terminator 2 action romp about a boy thrown into the movie world of his favourite action hero has since gathered a significant cult following. A parody of the action genre, its only real flaw was that it was unable to convince confused audiences that it was actually an Arnie action spoof. ★★★

I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry Bravo, 9.20pm Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James. Adam Sandler’s banal tastelessness is tempered just enough by the lovably charming Kevin James in this average comedy about two New York firemen masquerading as a gay couple. ★★★

Mad Max: Fury Road TVNZ 2, 9.35pm

Starring Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron. The 30-year wait was well worth it, despite the absence of Mel Gibson. Tom Hardy stepped in as the title character in the fourth in the franchise, set in a post-apocalyptic Australia. Beyond Thunderdrome came out in 1985, but a run of unforeseen events kept pushing production dates back, and back. Here, Mad Max teams up with Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) to escape a tyrant who has set up a neo-Nazi base in what is left of

Australia after a nuclear holocaust. Regarded as the best in the series. ★★★★

Knock Knock TVNZ 2, 11.45pm

Starring Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo. Just when it looked as if Keanu Reeves was making the right movie choices with films like John Wick, he proves us wrong with an erotic, home-invasion style thriller. Here he plays a ‘devoted’ husband who comes to the rescue of two stranded women only to be caught up in a tale of sex, violence and video tapes. Director Eli Roth is famous for his horror epics ranging from the Hostel series to Cabin Fever, but the only thing that scares here is knowing the end is a long way off. ★

MONDAY

The Predator Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Boyd Holbrook, Trevante Rhodes. Wouldn’t numbering them be simpler? The Predator is the fourth film in the Predator franchise, following on from 1987’s Predator, Predator 2 (hooray!), and Predators. This time around, a Predator’s ship crash-lands on Earth, and is captured by Army Rangers when it attacks them. But, of course, it gets away, setting off a familiar chain of violent events,

although the inclusion of an autistic boy into the narrative offered an opportunity, somewhat wasted, for a point of difference. ★★

Tea With The Dames M ori TV, 8.30pm Four grand dames of British cinema – Eileen Atkins, Judi Dench, Joan Plowright and Maggie Smith – get together to discuss life, love, the universe, and their careers. It might sound pretentious, but these four elderly women still have a spark, although tea and talk for an hour and a half might be stretching it for some viewers. ★★★

First Emperor: The Man Who Made China Choice, 8.30pm Starring James Pax. Dramatised doco about Qin Shi Huang, the ruthless ruler who created a unified China two centuries before Christ was born. Qin Shi Huang built much of the Great Wall and also constructed the Terracotta Army. ★★★

Cell Prime, 8.35pm Starring John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson. Stephen King’s 2006 book was a stark warning about our dependence on mobile phones, but the movie doesn’t chill nearly as much. Made 10 years after the book was written, it’s pretty much like that horse has bolted. A good cast is wasted on another so-so movie about a zombie plague. ★★

TUESDAY

Crazy Rich Asians Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Constance Wu, Henry Golding. Rachel Chu is a New York University professor who travels to Singapore to meet her boyfriend’s parents, only to discover they are fabulously rich. And she’s a bit upset? Don’t be fooled by the romcom cliche. This is frothy fun, but it’s well done with top performances from its Asian cast. It was a hit in the US, but flopped in China. ★★★★

Disclosure TVNZ Duke, 8.30pm

Starring Michael Douglas, Demi Moore. Much-hyped upon initial release as the first movie to turn the tables on sexual harassment in the workplace, this sex-laden thriller is an adequate example of the genre, although it was possibly more relevant back in the 90s. Glossy-looking, but lacks substance. ★★★

WEDNESDAY

Killers Anonymous Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Tommy Flanagan, Rhyon Nicole Brown. This is like AA, but for professional hitmen. It worked in The Sopranos, but falls pretty flat here despite the roster being boosted by Gary Oldman and Jessica Alba. It’s aiming for the sort of shock therapy provided by films such as Pulp Fiction, but the premise is undermined by a lack of the dark humour so essential as a counterweight to graphic violence. The interminable therapy sessions have social justice undertones but, overall, nothing binds the bits into a coherent whole. ★

THURSDAY

Top Gun TVNZ 2, 8pm

Starring Tom Cruise. This was a huge hit in the 80s featuring a maverick fighter pilot (Tom Cruise) and his quest to take an elite air training school title and date its female instructor (Kelly McGillis). The male competitiveness is enhanced by Val Kilmer, while Anthony Edwards and Meg Ryan add light relief. ★★★

FRIDAY

Smurfs: The Lost Village TVNZ 2, 4.30pm

Voices Demi Lovato, Danny Pudi. Aimed squarely at younger audiences, this 2017 update on the Smurfs features a

group of the little blue creatures navigating the Forbidden Forest. ★★

Level Up Three, 7.30pm Starring Josh Bowman, Neil Maskell. A video-game addict and his partner are struggling with their marriage when a group of masked thugs break into their London home and kidnap the woman, and give the man a mobile phone with instructions to deliver mysterious packages across the city. An OK low-budget thriller. ★★

10 Minutes Gone Sky Premiere, 8.30pm Starring Bruce Willis, Michael Chiklis. Hardly an original plot – a heist goes wrong and a vengeful crime boss wants the loot that the robber doesn’t have. So he races against time to find out which of his gang did the dirty before a hitman takes him out. It has been a long time between drinks, in terms of half-decent movies, for Willis and he will still have a thirst after this routine pot boiler, which has a somewhat prophetic title in viewing terms. ★

Kindergarten Cop Bravo, 8.30pm Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger has battled everything from invisible aliens to liquid metal terminators, but this may be his toughest assignment yet – playing relieving teacher to a classroom full of screaming tots. About as subtle as a sledgehammer, this action comedy is a mite too violent to be considered a true family film, but despite being only Arnie’s second comedic outing (after Twins), it is still one of his most appealing films in the genre. ★★★

Jackass 3 TVNZ Duke, 8.30pm

Starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O. Johnny Knoxville and the gang return for more madcap antics in this eye-popping, gut-churning stuntfest in which no cast member is safe. The gags range from the ridiculous to the disgusting but, on the whole, it’s an entertaining way to watch silly people do stupid things. ★★★

The Break Up M ori TV, 8.30pm Starring Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston. Vaughn and Aniston play a couple who break up but continue to live together in this anti-romantic comedy offering from Down With Love director Peyton Reed. It’s a little lacking in places but, overall, makes a nice change from what we’ve normally come to expect of this genre. ★★★