‘Nightmare’ of Christmas with an eating disorder
The pressure to eat dessert on Christmas Day made Jess Dyson break down into tears. Her anorexia meant she couldn’t bring herself to touch the icecream sundae.
For people battling an eating disorder, the Christmas season can be a nightmare rather than a joyous time of year.
Eating socially is the focal point of the festive season from work functions to large family Christmas dinners and the sheer abundance of food can feel frightening.
Dyson, 24, is now ‘‘completely free’’ of anorexia, but as a teen she battled the serious illness.
At 14 years old, doctors told the Aucklander she was going to die from anorexia, ‘‘but at the time I didn’t really care because dying seemed like the easier option’’.
As a young dancer she decided to lose weight after her peers called her fat. ‘‘I went downhill from there to the point where I got trapped into the horrible thing.’’
With the support of her parents she recovered in just over a year, but she still remembers the fear Christmas Day induced for her a decade ago.
Dyson’s family, like most, puts a big emphasis on Christmas Day food. That focus gave her ‘‘a lot of fear and anxiety in the weeks leading up to Christmas.’’
In the days before and after December 25 she secretly restricted her intake to compensate for all she was expected to eat.
Dyson and her mother created an eating plan for Christmas Day which made her ‘‘feel safe,’’ but dessert proved too much.
‘‘When it came time for dessert my anxiety took over. I felt like everyone was watching me and
judging me. I remember breaking down in tears because I just couldn’t bring myself to eat it.’’
She recalls being frustrated because she wanted to be ‘‘normal’’ and didn’t want to ‘‘ruin Christmas for everyone,’’ but the intense guilt she felt for eating overrode everything.
New Zealand Eating Disorders Clinic founder and registered psychotherapist Kellie Lavender says we shouldn’t expect people with eating disorders to enjoy the festive season like others do.
‘‘For anybody suffering from a range of eating disorders it can be their worst nightmare.
‘‘Not only the abundance of food which can be very frightening, but also the social eating aspect can be very difficult,’’ Lavender says.
For those in recovery she says they need to manage the time of year carefully because it has the potential to trigger harmful behaviour like restrictive eating or binging.
‘‘If they feel pressure to eat something at a social event it might spin them into compensatory behaviours where they restrict themselves later.’’
‘‘Knowing what you will eat in advance and having a plan that you can stick to will reduce your level of angst.’’
If you anticipate you’re likely to feel unable to eat what is being offered then plan in advance to eat a healthy and delicious meal before the event, or alternatively remember to take a snack with you as a back up.
If required, plan to have a support person at the event who will help to manage your intake.
Lavender says close family members and friends need to be aware and understanding of the stress that a person with an eating disorder might be under.
‘‘Ultimately the goal is to have the person be a part of the celebration, but not everyone is in a place to be able to do that.’’