Brash words

Husband-and-wife comedians and commentators Jeremy Elwood and Michele A’Court share their views.

The recent storm in a teacup over the amount of Te Reo being used by New Zealand broadcasters had me asking a couple of questions, several of which I can’t print in a newspaper, but others that I will.

Firstly, why do we still have to listen to the opinions of someone like Don Brash on this subject? He’s retired, isn’t he? And he’s been perfectly clear on his stance for quite some time now, so what’s the point of bringing it up with him again and again, seeing as it’s quite obvious he won’t be changing his mind?

Secondly, what is it that people like him, and other commentators around the country, are so afraid of? Is it just inherent racism? I like to think it’s more than that, it’s a fear of the world they know changing into something they don’t recognise, and don’t feel comfortable in. But even so, why can’t they keep their discomfort to themselves?

What do these people do if they’re overseas? Do they only travel to English-speaking countries and, if so, do they have any idea what they’re missing out on?

I suppose my main confusion is why and how the use of one of our three official languages on TV, radio or in print is in any way threatening. It’s not like it’s costing us anything, and if

Here’s the best bit about the brouhaha over Te Reo Māori last week. OK, no, not the bit where Don Brash said that one of the few Māori words he likes is “whānau” and mispronounced it, and we all wondered if his pronunciation might improve if he heard it more regularly, like on the radio or something. Delivered with his breakfast.

Also, think about that for a second – in a whole language there’s just one word he likes? What’s the one German word he likes? Weltschmerz? Torschlusspanik? (Feel free to Google them. You can do that with Māori words, too.)

And it wasn’t the bit where he wished Guyon Espiner would limit his morning greeting to “mōrena” but made it sound like it was either a contraceptive or a place where you park your boat. (See breakfast suggestion above.)

The bit that most tickled me was when Brash described speaking Māori as “virtue signalling”.

Because you know that thing where the kids embrace a new word or phrase and it goes viral? Think “woke”, “turnt”, “on fleek”, “lit”. All of which are hot right up until the moment some sad old bugger says something like: “My word, this gathering is lit, and Mabel looks on fleek, though I’m worried if she continues to pound the there are words you don’t understand, and can’t be bothered making the effort to try and understand, just wait a minute and I’m sure whoever is speaking them will switch back to your all-so-precious mother tongue. I’m confused because I think that the use of Te Reo is a mark of respect, recognition of our multicultural society, and an acknowledgement of our shared histories. In other words, it’s the right thing to do.

My final question is, what do these guys (and they almost are always guys) think they’re going to achieve? Do they really believe that we’re going to turn back the clock, undo the progress that has been made and revert to some Queen and Country lifestyle that never even existed for a large percentage of our population in the first place? The culture has adapted, which is what cultures do, and the fact that they can’t bring themselves to accept it must just be exhausting.

These people are not adding to the debate, because there is no debate. The debate ended years ago; they’ve turned up late, brought the wrong speech, the venue is closed and the audience has been home for ages. We’ve moved on, Don, and you’re so far in the rear view mirror that we can hardly even see you waving any more. I just dearly wish we couldn’t still hear you. chardonnay, she’ll be turnt in the morning, what ho!” And it’s just not cool any more.

So if DB has absorbed “virtue signalling” into his lexicon (who knew he could learn new words?) then it must be on the way out. Good job. It is a nasty little phrase which attempts to imply that people do good things, not because they want to do good things, but because they want to be noticed and praised. In this instance, it suggests you learn and speak Te Reo because you’re a show off, and want to be thought of as better than you actually are. The conservative’s hope is that throwing doubt on your intentions will make you small, and quiet, and wish for invisibility.

There are a bunch of people in my whānau and wider circle (nothing to do with me, no glory to be reflected back my way, just stating a fact) who speak Māori regularly as a natural part of their day. Some of them have what Brash refers to as “brown faces”, some of them don’t. What they have in common is intellectual curiosity, cultural respect, hunger for community, and joy in learning new and beautiful things.

They are not “signalling” virtues like kindness, humility, patience, and diligence when they begin to learn another official New Zealand language, they are “living” those virtues.

It is a whole different thing.