A final farewell

Francis Tipene and his wife, Kaiora, own and operate Tipene Funerals in Onehunga, Auckland. Francis is the Managing Director, Chief Operations Officer and Senior Funeral Director, while Kaiora is the Director of Finance. The couple have five children bet

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The gifts we get are so awesome – corned beef, wine (I don’t drink alcohol but we pass it on) but that particular day, there was a thank you cake. I was so hungry – I have a sweet tooth – and when I walked in, I gave them the biggest hug and said: “Thank you so much,” and shared the cake with everyone.

The feedback that stays with me is when families say: “You were there, but you weren’t there.” At first I was like: “What do you mean?” Later on, I figured it out: you’re there when they need you but can take a step back when they don’t. That approach has become an integral part of the company.

My wife and I moved back up north, closer to our families. We started working for our local iwi up there, Te Roroa, in schools, doing waiata and things Māori. We used to attend a lot of funerals. I noticed there was one funeral home in Kaitaia. I thought let’s go to Auckland to train and learn how to be funeral directors.

A typical day, we wake up, my wife will get the kids sorted with breakfast. I go to work, wash the cars, talk about what’s happening with removals. After that, depending on if I’ve got to uplift someone, I’ll go to the hospital or the rest home, take them to be embalmed and prepared, and organise to meet with the family. Then, I’m checking on funerals that are coming up to make sure the flowers are ordered, catering’s sorted, the order of service is done, the celebrants are up to date on what they need to do, making sure the family has transportation, and if there’s anything else we can help with. We’re also following up with accounts. There’s a point where you’ve got to talk about paying the bill.

Then I’m making sure we’ve got enough stock: caskets, handles, mattresses, sidesets, chemicals, makeup, lipstick, hair products, fragrance, that sort of thing. Then we start all over again the next day.

Every Christmas, on the children’s birthdays, on anniversaries, I’m thinking: “Is this worth it?” I’m missing out on my children’s beautiful occasions, my wife’s dates, to be doing this work. But then there are times when a funeral’s over and I feel that it’s been done meaningfully and there’s been a celebration that’s taken place – all those times, I think: “It’s all worth it.”

Francis and Kaiora Tipene star in The Casketeers, Saturdays 7pm on TVNZ 1 or streaming via TVNZ OnDemand.