A midsummer’s beach stage play
As the locals and summer tourists came down to the beach to play their part, the first act of the annual summer play is already well under way.
It happens every summer for the beach voyeurs in the cheap seats.
Every summer locals are treated to a beach stage play. It’s a compilation of tourist short stories played out in real time. It’s a bit like The Truman Show, only it’s on the beach and almost no-one from out of town knows the play is going live.
Today, the stage is set. The beach breeze is a mere gentle zephyr. The dune weeds sway gently in the wind, while little ones try to get their colourful Christmas kites into the air.
Down on the beach, bright colours are everywhere. The tide is out leaving big pools of warm water for little ones to play in, safe from the pull of the dangerous tide.
Dogs are chasing sticks and birds and barking loudly in the joyous note of canine puppy-speak that says it’s summer and we’re at the beach! It’s a soundtrack to summer as the day unfolds.
The waves are big today. White sea spray launches high into the air as the waves crash. Screams of delight are heard across the beach as the red and yellow flags flutter in the wind, marking the spot where Kiwis are safe, in the hands of tanned volunteers at the surf club.
Power walkers take to the stage, walking bold upright with intent. They’re stepping to the beat of some internal dialogue that says exercise is good for them. ‘‘Only 5000 steps needed to make my target today . . .’’
Beach bikers ride quickly past, as summer lovers hold hands and selfies are snapped showing the coast as the perfect online backdrop to their growing relationship that has no hope of lasting past the early return to work next week.
Others looking lonely and lost walk past seeking something that will always seemingly be just out of reach.
Someone has a ghetto blaster playing loud dance music made for a generation of kids that think music is created by machines.
Some are walking and talking like a scene from an upcoming Aaron Sorkin beach drama. It’s all quick darting steps to avoid the jellyfish remnants on the beach and talking fast to keep the pace of the summer stage play moving.
More summer story characters arrive. The numbers are swelling on the beach stage as the drama gets ever more complex.
People of all ages are now relaxing under bright umbrellas on the beach, some struggling with cheap seats bought from the Warehouse that are likely to last one summer only.
One or two are trying to appear sophisticated with wine glasses in hand while talking loudly about Auckland house prices, so everyone can hear.
Suddenly a phone is heard ringing loudly, alerting all the beach to the ringtone of Royals that someone is calling somebody somewhere about something totally unnecessary.
A new character arrives on stage, it’s the teenager learning to surf, trying hard to look beach cool with the borrowed board, but looking awkward and out of touch with the elements.
One thing is clear, the stage lighting and special effects team have worked wonders. The sea wave foam is bright white as it casts against the blue sky above.
On stage right and thankfully just out the corner of my eye is an older guy wearing Speedos. The TV ad plays through my head … tog, togs, togs, undies … undies.
Then there’s a young woman still dressed in a party dress engaged in heartfelt discussion with mum close at hand who is offering comfort and advice. The young girl’s mobile phone is now out. She’s probably texting friends, bitching about the advice mum had just offered.
The star of the show is the silver splitter. He’s the main character on the beach today. He’s the ageing old guy with grey hair with the young blonde on his arm. He has to be the guy with the broken 40-year marriage.
Wife and I compare notes and script new lines for Mr Silver-Splitter, something along the lines of ‘‘… my wife and I grew apart but now I love you … but I don’t want children.’’
She storms off, realising he’s rich, he looks good for his years with the dash of grey and fake tan, but he’s in it for fun, not for kids.
It’s not exactly quality drama, but it matches the tone of the day.
This summer it’s all small stories being played out in real life around us.
The beach play is on again tomorrow at a coastal resort near you.
The curtain rises at dawn.
‘‘All the world’s indeed a stage
And we are merely players Performers and portrayers
Each another’s audience Outside the gilded cage …’’
Limelight – Rush
The waves are big today. White sea spray launches high into the air as the waves crash.