Flat Earther’s space shot a fizzer
UNITED STATES: A man who claims that Earth is flat tried to leave it in a homemade rocket , but failed to overcome the gravitational force of the sphere directly beneath him.
In fairness to Mike Hughes, he knows how to build a rocket. He built them for many years under the precepts of classical physics, when he was still a relatively conventional daredevil, which is to say, one who believed the Earth is round.
But last Sunday marked Hughes’ third aborted launch since he declared himself a flat Earther last year and announced a multipart plan to fly to space by the end of 2018 so he could prove that astronauts have been lying about the shape of the planet.
Hughes blamed technical difficulties – possibly a bad O-ring – for his steam-powered rocket’s failure to ignite in the Mojave Desert. But even if it had, his mission would have ended at worst in death, and at best in disappointment as he realised what ancient Greeks and schoolchildren already know: the world is round.
It began last year, as Hughes struggled to raise money for a followup to his last successful homemade rocket launch, in 2012. He gave an interview to a flat Earth group about his newfound skepticism about the planet’s shape, and subsequently raised thousands of dollars from a community that believes we all live, basically, on a big Frisbee.
The money was enough for Hughes to build a rocket. The slogan on that rocket, ‘‘Rsearcher Flat Earth’’, drew attention from every corner of the Earth.
It was more attention than Hughes, whose previous stunts had drawn only modest coverage, planned for. It might have been more attention than was good for him, as the US Bureau of Land Management subsequently contacted him and forbade him from flying a mile across the Mojave in November, as he had planned.
To pile on problems, his combined rocket, launcher and mobile home broke down the same week.
The Mojave stunt was intended to publicise Hughes’ mission and raise the US$2 million necessary for his final mission later this year: to ride a hot-air balloon far up into the sky, then use a rocket pack to fly even higher and assess the shape of the horizon.
But as he spent months rebuilding his rocket and working through government red tape, the world threatened to shut the door on his ambitions. Last month, Hughes was arguing with trolls on Facebook who questioned his ability to launch the rocket, or his commitment to flat Earth philosophy, or both.
All critics would be silenced, Hughes promised, when he finally launched from private property outside the town of Amboy, California on Sunday. Obviously, it didn’t work out that way.
Hughes started a GoFundMe to offset the cost of the much-delayed launch, which had raised no more than US$100 of its US$10,000 goal.
The media were still interested, though it was mostly obscure and independent outfits that towed cameras out to Amboy on the big day.
The crowd gave a wide berth to Hughes’ rocket, which stood in the desert, pointed at the sky. California mountains were visible behind it. Much taller mountains beyond them were not, because the Earth is definitely round.
Web channel Noize TV livestreamed the would-be launch. Host Paul Zero said he was not himself a believer in the flat Earth, but insisted that the launch would be amazing.
Hughes finally climbed inside the rocket and closed the hatch before sundown.
But the rocket just sat there, pulled directly down towards the Earth’s core, as Isaac Newton predicted – not going up, and not sliding sideways towards the infinite cliffs of ice that ring the edge of the world in flat Earth models.
‘‘The launch ain’t happening,’’ Zero finally admitted.
Hughes climbed out of the rocket to face the cameras. He scratched his head. ‘‘Maybe I left a plug in there,’’ he said. Maybe an O-ring melted. Who knew?
‘‘I pulled the plunger five different times,’’ Hughes said. ‘‘I considered beating on the rocket nozzle from the underneath side. But you can’t get anyone under there. It’ll kill you. It’ll scald you to death. It’ll blow the skin and muscle off your bones.’’
But at this point, he could not even sell the drama of his hypothetical death to the demure crowd.
Two women walked up and gave Hughes a hug. ‘‘You did your best,’’ a man told him, ‘‘and you haven’t gave up yet.’’
Hughes’ plans are unclear now. He said he would take apart the rocket to see what went wrong, but had commitments to think of besides science.
He was supposed to be in court today, he told the crowd, because he was suing the governor of California for unspecified reasons. He was also trying to claim the legal right to serial killer Charles Manson’s guitar.
‘‘Guys, I’m sorry,’’ Hughes said. ‘‘What can you do?’’