Quick burial or lose the plot
Faith Denby thought she’d found the perfect plot to bury her father.
A spot next to his mates at the Jackson Street Cemetery in
Nga¯ ruawa¯ hia seemed the ideal place.
But, when the time came to prepurchase the plot, Waikato District Council told Faith and her family they couldn’t.
The rules say a plot can only be purchased a month out from a burial.
In 2016, council passed a clause in its cemeteries bylaw which meant any relative of a person being buried can pre-purchase two adjacent plots, at the time of burial only.
However, this is the only way it is possible to pre-purchase plots in the Waikato district.
Faith’s father John Deacon, or JD as he was affectionately known, had lived in Nga¯ ruawa¯ hia for over 70 years.
His death, a month ago, was a huge shock to his family.
Mum is not ready to give Dad up, Faith said.
‘‘She has his ashes back and wants to secure a plot where she knows he will be happy and perhaps where their future lies, but council will no longer let her purchase it unless she guarantees to inter now.’’
Dad died just like that, Faith said. ‘‘We were all really numb, but ashes give you a choice. If you choose to inter within a week or two that is entirely your choice, but if you choose to wait that’s your choice too.
‘‘To have outsiders dictate to you – it’s not right.’’
Her mum went into a meltdown, Faith said.
‘‘It’s something, which should be so simple, but instead it’s added to her heartache.
‘‘People say that person is dead, is it really going to matter? But it’s the ones who are living, you know it’s what they want and it plays on you emotionally.’’
It’s a clumsy bylaw that doesn’t take into account the grief of the family, Faith’s husband Lex said.
‘‘It’s left Faith’s mum in this invidious situation,’’ Lex said.
‘‘She either buys the plot she wants now and is bullied into giving up JD’s ashes to comply with council’s demands, or she keeps the ashes and the comfort they are bringing her in this time of grief and takes potluck on what she can get for a plot later on.
‘‘It just seems so heartless.’’ Faith and her family are not the only ones who have been caught out by the bylaw.
Terminal patients who are trying to prepare their affairs have also been turned away, Lex said.
‘‘A terminally ill woman had visited a burial plot in Gordonton with family and decided on a plot she’d be happy with, but council would not allow for her to pre-purchase it.
‘‘She died on a Friday and then the family had a hell of a job getting a plot organised, so they could have a funeral the following week.’’
It’s all additional stress families don’t need when they are already aggrieved, Lex said.
Deacon’s nephew and Nga¯ ruawa¯ hia ward councillor Eugene Patterson said the policy needs to be readdressed.
The policy was introduced with the previous council to try to prevent land from being wasted, Patterson said.
The only way someone can prepurchase a plot now is after a family member dies, he said.
‘‘You can reserve the plot next to a loved one, only after they die.’’
Historically, plots have been purchased and then gone unused, which is the main reason for the policy, Patterson said.
‘‘I understand the reasons around wasting land in cemeteries, but I think council may have got it a little bit wrong.
‘‘I don’t think council thought about the emotional effects for families in this situation.’’
The intention of the clause is to restrict the pre-purchasing of burial plots, council said in a statement.
‘‘There were many incidences of plots being pre-purchased years in advance and due to families moving out of the district, the burials were never taking place, resulting in empty grave sites.
‘‘When the decision is made to inter ashes or purchase a burial plot, the family may reserve a plot either side.’’
Land for cemeteries is at a premium, council said.
The bylaw clause is responsible management of council cemetery land and ratepayers’ money, council said.
‘‘We believe the intention of restricting pre-purchase of plots is acting in the best interests of our customers. We do acknowledge that the wording around this clause in the bylaw is confusing. Steps are being taken to rectify this potential for confusion through a review of the bylaw, which should be addressed in late 2018.’’