Time for Warriors to end Aussie jinx
OPINION: Six months worth of meditation classes? Check. Delivery of aromatherapy candles? Check. Stick to bite down on to stop excessive swearing? Check. Cushion to muffle screams of annoyance? Check. Let the NRL season commence!
You may’ve guessed that I am a Warriors supporter. To explain where I am on the fan-odometer; I do not own a team jersey but I have yelled at the television for two decades. I should sound like Darren Lockyer. In other words, I care but for how much longer?
Centuries ago, I was the league reporter for TV3. I did Simon Mannering’s first TV interview at training. We were both so young then (him) and filled with hope (also him). It was 2005 and despite the Warriors making their first grand final just a few years before, I had become used to the cyclical nature of their seasons; disappointing, awful, rebuild, hope, awful, reinvention, repeat.
It still baffles me why Kiwi teams struggle so much in the Australian competitions. After long deliberation I have decided the Russians are behind it.
There is no other reason that the teams have played so badly for so long. Are they feeding anxiety gas along the Pacific Internet Cable? Robert Mueller must extend his investigation to New Zealand. I’m sure Jacinda would testify that Trump has a set of suspicious looking Russian dolls if it meant making the top eight.
As much as I’m loving the spirit of the Black Caps at the moment, they too have failed to shake the yellow canary from their backs. Yes, I know that Ross Taylor has just received an invite from Zeus and that reliable sources have seen Kane Williamson walk on water, however, the team has often failed to abide by the 11th commandment; thou shalt not get your ass handed to you by Australia.
I feel for our players. It must be hard listening to that nasal twang for hours at a time but we have all survived a holiday on the Gold Coast so it’s not impossible.
Maybe we need to play David Warner’s press conferences over loud speakers at kids’ training sessions? Although I do worry about the side-effects.
The New Zealand netball team is being proactive. The last few years have seen the Ferns produce a series of results that will be familiar to the Warriors. But in a recent fascinating feature by Dana Johannsen, it was revealed a former AFL player was helping with team culture.
The players haven’t been communicating and have been too quiet so who better to help than an Australian. It’s sounds simple but the team will have to take responsibility and be open to change for this to succeed. Fortunately they are not politicians.
Of course communication is important but it’s only part of the package. With a smaller population it’s easier for naturally talented athletes to rise to the top but without a solid foundation of training and discipline, they will crack quickly under pressure.
Without player depth it’s easy to rest on your laurels although just what some of the Warriors and Phoenix have been resting on must look like the stuff you empty out of the vacuum cleaner after tidying up your teenager’s room.
Time to look for a fresh solution to our yellow-tinged woes. Like the Ferns, teams need to look for help outside the sport. Kiwi athletes seem to operate better in ones and twos so teams could take a little bit from each of these stars or better still, sit down for a chat.
Mix the swagger and moustache of Steven Adams with the grace and single-mindedness of Valerie Adams. Add the quiet strength and determination of Tom Walsh to the testicles but not the ears of Buck Shelford.
We need a big dollop of the joyful competitiveness of Irene van Dyke and the guts of snowboard medallist Nico Porteous who gave so much on the first two runs at the Olympics he had zero left for the third. And finally the planning and leadership of Steve Hansen, to bring all that goodness together.
Otherwise, if this bad run continues, we will have to admit that the Aussies are better at team sports and I would rather teach a seminar on ‘How to respect women’ to the Australian and South African cricket teams than make that admission. It’s not too late. We have the ability. Now let’s mediate.