The heart of it
Amie Richardson is addicted to Married at First Sight, but how do you live happily ever after with a stranger? Or even your partner? Spoiler: it’s not all rainbows and poetry.
There are two types of people in this world. Those who marry a stranger for a global TV series – and everyone else. At first glance, Married at First Sight Australia is just trash TV – edited to set-up a cast of individuals looking for love thwarted by various “villains” – the hot temptress, the lying male, those who put their wives in the “friend zone” too early. The so-called “social experiment” is designed to secure great ratings.
But at a deeper level, it’s like watching a survival of the fittest contest.
Only those people deeply committed, resolved to do whatever it takes to make a relationship work, will come out of it together.
On the other side, weaknesses and vulnerabilities are ruthlessly exposed. Jealousy, competitiveness, insecurity and attention-seeking behaviours, they’re all there to be assessed, analysed and remarked on by not only the panel of experts, but the group itself.
Frankly – and much to my partner’s disgust – I’m hooked.
When I was a “real-life investigative journalist”, I interviewed the first official “radio couple” – Paula and Zane Nicholl – for a follow-up to their “marry-a-stranger” experiment when Paula was pregnant. Almost two decades later, they’re still together with three kids and a business.
“But how did you feel marrying a stranger?” I asked Paula, incredulously. (Not my most probing question, I’ll admit.)
Her explanation was simple. They were in the right frame of mind and made it work. No secret formula.
Maybe it was that interview that changed my view of love. Up with rainbows and clouds and poetry, I brought it down to sit with commitment, loyalty, and sound decisions.
Loving is not a prickle on the back of your neck or a flutter in your stomach. Love is a decision you make, guided by a set of boundaries and the expectations you have. “I want to be with you. I’m prepared to do X, Y and Z. I’ll never do A but I need C.”
This week was the start of our own blended families’ social experiment. Bunking down inside our yet to be renovated one-bedroomed-plussleepout-schoolhouse, five of us went off to our various work, school, water polo, rippa, swimming, sleepovers, meetings, commitments and returned each day. We bickered, grumped, and wound each other up in equal amounts to cuddles, laughs and chill-out times.
If anyone was watching, we’d look as vulnerable and freakish as the panel from Married… But together we’ve chosen to make it work because we want it to. That’s what it takes.