AARON’S STORY
Temptress of Turmoil was born out of a coping strategy, a piece of writing I began one night, when certain events in my life had led me back to an emotionally unstable culmination, to the proverbial razor’s edge, literally: wishing to give in once again to that fleeting, distorted release.
I scrawled the original draft on that troubled Thursday night, as a distraction, a way to channel my emotions into an alternative, healthy outlet; to express my thoughts, an attempt to shift my mental state from self-destruction to creation.
I spent most of the following day reworking it, where it became an exploration of the seductive and disturbingly addictive side to self-harm, hopefully serving as a warning for anyone, against the temptation to begin, or to continue, to engage in any such activities.
While the poem describes the stereotypical act of cutting, self-harm comes in many forms, and under any of its many guises, it sneaks up on you like a host-killing virus, infiltrating your thoughts with rationalisations and excuses, which serve only as a means to selfishly perpetuate itself.
The psychological ramifications are serious; it is akin to the most twisted love affair, complete with blackmail and mind-games, all woven together with the bittersweet sting of self-inflicted Stockholm Syndrome, and, like any love interest, it leaves lasting impressions both mental and physical, which may fade, but are likely never to completely disappear.
The solution to any painful predicaments, where self-harm becomes an attractive option, may be as varied and personal as the individual experiencing them.
My own protracted breakup from the incredibly unromantic reality of self-harm, involved seeking professional guidance, the shedding of many long-overdue tears, an embracing of artistic expression, and a dissolution of what had been, up to that point, a downhill slide of stress, depression, and anxiety-fuelled, self-imposed, social isolation.