Mark Middleton

The manner in which Immigration New Zealand chooses to kick out Mark Middleton, the stepfather of Karla Cardno, is another example of bureaucrats indulging in their favourite pastime: demonstrating their unfettered and officially sanctioned power and acting as moronic bully-boys. Middleton came to New Zealand as a four-year-old, has been a solid, tax-paying contributor to NZ society, and is the sole bread winner for his family. How did he upset Immigration New Zealand? He didn’t realise he had to fill out one of their forms thus giving INZ the perfect excuse to throw him in a 2-metre jail cell awaiting deportation, 56 years after commencing his life here as a Kiwi.

So what does it take to qualify as a bureaucrat, particularly as a member of the gang of bureaucrats we know as Immigration New Zealand?

You would presume that they must first pass the Buffoon Test. The applicant no doubt gets double points if he is also a moron.

Secondly, they should have a wellestablished background as a bully, both from school and past employment. Being a big, obvious bully isn’t essential. Indeed, being a wimpy, discreet bully is an advantage as they can hide inconspicuously behind mother’s skirts, a bigger bully or chaotic bureaucratic complexities, making sniping forays before racing back behind their shield. Latent bullying talents are also recognised and nurtured in this bureaucratic environment.

Lastly there’s the ongoing training: in the team building exercises they would gather in gangs and be encouraged to intimidate, harass and arrest blow-up dummies of sick people, old ladies and defenceless children.

After that exhaustive process, Immigration New Zealand could be assured of acquiring the perfect official, able and very willing to aggressively kick some of our best Kiwis out of the country. Good on you INZ. Yes, I know: you’re here to help. And, of course, you’re just following the rules.

Roger Clarke

Pirongia