A government of flatmates
When Shane Jones declared last week that mining would be part of the West Coast’s future, Labour and the Greens must have struggled to keep their eyes from rolling all the way back into their skulls.
Jones, a NZ First MP, is, after all, a Cabinet minister in a Labour-led government. Less than a year ago that government set a very different tone on mining in the speech from the throne, prepared by Labour Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern. That vision has been reinforced by Jones’ ministerial colleague Eugenie Sage, minister of conservation and a Green MP.
There’s one way to describe this situation: government by flatmates. If that seems a shallow comparison at first, then bear with me. When you think about it, the current arrangements really do resemble three unrelated adults sharing a house.
Labour, a postgraduate student, is the leaseholder and the longeststanding housemate. It gets the master bedroom, complete with en suite, and pays the most rent. As the senior occupant, Labour is in charge of overseeing the chore wheel that sets out who will be responsible for what on which days. Of course, when it suits, Labour will ignore the chore wheel – though it’s usually pretty careful about keeping it on the down low.
The Green Party is an undergraduate student. The youngest of the three, it doesn’t have a lot of worldly experience. It pays a good share of the rent but is relegated to the smallest bedroom on the coldest side of the house, which it has plastered with posters for woke and fashionable causes. The Green Party is mostly pretty good with the chore wheel, though it can sometimes be a bit passive-aggressive about it.
NZ First is the ‘‘bad boy’’ flatmate. It decided not to continue with university and now works as a sales rep. It gets the second-best bedroom, just down the hall from Labour, even though it pays about the same share of the rent as the Greens. NZ First travels up and down the country quite a bit and often isn’t home. It loves having a company car, which it is allowed to drive for unlimited personal use. When it is home, everybody else in the house is a little intimidated by this flatmate. They usually try to keep it happy. Labour lets it use the en suite, which it does quite liberally. Not only does it blatantly ignore the chore wheel, but it helps itself to food in the fridge without regard to whom it belongs.
NZ First isn’t that impressed with the Greens. When it comes to things like choosing a power company and internet plan, it insists on discussing the matter with Labour only. It’s not really interested in hearing the Greens’ ideas and insists that the ‘‘grown-ups’’ will be the one to make the decision.
This puts Labour in a tricky position. It is the mutual friend in the relationship and so the burden falls on it to bridge the gap. It also can’t afford to lose either of the flatmates because it needs both to cover the rent. It has worked out that the best way to preserve things is to suck up to, and go along with, NZ First whenever it’s at home. When NZ First is on one of its frequent sales trips to the provinces, however, Labour goes out of its way to be accommodating to the Greens and commiserates with it over NZ First’s behaviour.
It’s not a perfect situation, but it’s generally workable. There haven’t been any major bust-ups so far. Nobody has threatened to leave yet.
Things have been a bit harder going lately, however. Labour’s been away for an extended family trip. This has allowed NZ First to assume the position of hegemonic flatmate. While it hasn’t been as bad as some may have feared, it’s clear the party has a liking for authority. It can only be hoped that when Labour returns, things will go back to normal.
It’s true that all governments since 1996 have been coalitions of one sort or another. The Clark and Key-English years, however, did not really fit this mould. The main party was just in a more dominant position.
This is the first time we’ve had flatmate government in a while. It remains to be seen just what New Zealand, which I guess is the landlord, will make of it when time comes to renew the tenancy. Assuming, that is, that all three want to renew – and can afford the rent.