The wedding or the house
‘‘The dream part was being married to someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. And it didn’t really matter how I got to that point.’’ Tomoko Prewster
As house deposits become more elusive for young lovers, fancy weddings do, too.
With wedding season looming, a growing chunk of couples will exchange vows amid the bland backdrop of a court or council office.
It costs $90 – or $240 if you include the marriage licence – and takes half an hour all up.
Some brides show up in office garb. Others go all out in a white frilly number with a veil.
A middle way – pop-up wedding packages, which cost about $3300 – is gaining popularity, too. The packages generally include a decorated venue, photography, celebrant, cake, music, refreshments and a bouquet.
Whether an office or pop-up wedding, it’s peanuts compared to the usual New Zealand wedding tab of $19,000 to $24,500, according to the shesaidyes.co.nz website.
Last year, there were 5761 registry office marriages in New Zealand – 369 more than the year before and almost 700 more than 2016.
The Auckland region took out the most: 2734 registry office weddings in 2017. Waikato and Bay of Plenty offices saw 775 ceremonies.
Pop-up weddings have spiked in recent years, too. Vivre Lokes, co-owner of Skinny Love Weddings, said their affordability means couples don’t have to choose between a wedding or a house deposit, travel, even starting a family.
‘‘It was a pretty new concept five years ago. But we’ve noticed in the last two to three years just a leap in bookings, basically.
‘‘You have to wonder how much the increase in house prices has to do [with it]. They’ve got to make a choice.’’
Saving for a home, along with having young children, are the most common reasons people opt for a package deal, Lokes said. Most of the couples are between 25 and 35. She guessed about 40 per cent were looking to start a family after their nuptials.
And wedding trends have begun to lean toward cheaper, less traditional and more intimate options.
Tomoko and Dion Prewster never wanted a flashy wedding, opting for 10 witnesses in the registry offices of Hawke’s Bay instead.
The couple’s not-so-big day was perfect.
Tomoko considered a dress, but it was cold. Instead, the couple wore matching jeans and black leather jackets. At the last minute, a few of Dion’s basketball team mates asked to tag along, bringing the guest list to 10.
After exchanging stock-standard vows, they headed to the pub for a postwedding drink. A couple months later, they had a holiday/honeymoon in Japan.
While Tomoko would never begrudge anyone a fancy wedding, the waste and cost generated by a big party wouldn’t sit right with she and her husband.
A no-fuss exchange of vows simply suited them, Tomoko said, as neither is a frivolous spender.
The idea of saving for months, only to be left skint after a big, stressful day, just didn’t appeal.
‘‘That was definitely not my dream. ‘‘The dream part was being married to someone that I could spend the rest of my life with. And it didn’t really matter how I got to that point.
‘‘And no matter how big the wedding is, it doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to have a good marriage.’’
Registrar general Jeff Montgomery said couples flock to registry offices in the traditional spring-to-summer wedding season.
Most choose such weddings for cheapness and speed. The whole hurrah costs $90 and takes half an hour.
‘‘It’s designed to be cheap, fast and no hassle,’’ Montgomery said. ‘‘You don’t have the bridezilla kind of experience. There’s no room for drama.
‘‘[Some] pull up in front of the offices and the bride will hop out with a full white wedding dress and bridesmaids and all the rest of it. Some people do literally turn up from work.’’
He remembers one couple popped down to the registry office on their work break with a couple of friends. They both worked in a local supermarket and wore their uniforms for the ceremony. Then they headed back to work.
Another couple showed up playing bagpipes. He doesn’t encourage that – the ceremonies take place at council or court offices, so it’s a little disruptive.
He thinks the increase could reflect an increase in population, but a new online application process for a marriage certificate could soon see a large spike in the number of people opting for a registry office wedding.
Young couples are common. But so are those who have already been married, he said.
‘‘They’ve done the big thing with 200 guests and all the rest of it and that didn’t work, so they’re having another go.’’