Pots of ideas
Although one of the strongest images of Christmas is that of multiple generations gathered together in a family celebration, the brutal reality is often the opposite.
A government-sponsored Otago University survey last year found that as many as one in five elderly New Zealanders are lonely, meaning that this time of year can be hard to bear for many of our older Kiwis, who are unlikely to gather around a heaving table, or banter about presents with the grandkids.
How we care for our ageing population is a constant source of headlines these days, but a British documentary has discovered a seemingly inexpensive form of therapy that offers surprising results when it comes to battling some of the worst aspects of growing old.
In Old People’s Home for 4-yearolds, for six weeks, 10 4-year-olds spend their days with 10 pensioners from the St Monica’s Trust old people’s home in the south-west of England.
Although the show’s creators admit this ‘‘experiment’’ is nothing new – in fact, it’s been carried out as a matter of policy in many parts of the US over the past 25 years – they’re also quite blunt about what they’re dealing with. A third of the elderly folk taking part show signs of depression, nine out of 10 find life ‘‘unexciting’’, half have no hope for the future, and all bar one have physical issues that put them at risk of a fall.
The idea – throw these youngsters and oldsters together and see what happens – is then quantified by testing levels of fitness, mental agility and depression at the end.
What rolls out, though, is much more than a social experiment. It’s beautiful, uplifting television, as well.
Watching a bunch of headstrong, no-nonsense kids go to work on what 87-year-old Michael rather morbidly describes as ‘‘God’s waiting room’’ is instantly hilarious. Bumptious Millie tells curmudgeonly one-legged bachelor Hamish she hopes his leg will grow back. Ava’s answer to where people go when they get very old: ‘‘a bungalow’’. But then seeing and hearing the difference in the oldies’ demeanour after just a couple of days can be poignant, too.
Hamish becomes something of a revelation. Not long after declaring that ‘‘this will be a total disaster’’, he’s cuddling ducklings in a ‘‘morning of sheer delight’’ and rolling around on the floor pretending to be a lion.
And Zina, who came to the nursing home because husband Bernard is suffering from dementia, goes from mourning the ‘‘spirit of adventure that was dying inside me’’ to swatting a pinata horse like a sugar-crazed teenager.
Old People’s Home for 4-yearolds, if there’s any justice in the world, ought to become the founding principle on which we base our early childhood education and our care of the elderly. Until that happens, the show offers a lesson in the obvious benefits of time with those around us – especially at Christmas.
Bake Off – in all its international forms – can feel like family to its legion of fans. It has its dear, departed crazy old auntie Mary Berry, strange uncle Paul Hollywood, a couple of new in-laws we’re all still getting used to in Noel Fielding and Sandi Toksvig, and a host of overseas visitors who are fitting in quite nicely, too.
To confuse matters a little, this year’s two-part Christmas Special of The Great British Bake Off to air on Prime actually dates back to the pre-Sandi and Noel days of saucy Mel Gieroyc and ‘‘Superkins’’ Sue Perkins (and misses a Santa’s sackfull of puns around Mr Fielding’s first name in the process – next year, though, next year).
It does, however, invite back familiar contestants to try their hand at seasonal gluten-heavy treats, some of which have to hang on a tree – cue joke about well-hung baubles (thank you, Mel).
This week, it’s the lovely Norman ‘‘I’m a bread and pie man’’ Calder, the chaotic ‘‘I’ve lost half a cake’’ Cathryn Dresser, Ali ‘‘no, I don’t remember him either from series four’’ Imdad, and ‘‘Mrs Christmas’’ Mary-Anne Boermans.
They’re an odd bunch – but a marvel when tackling buns and biscuits, and a pleasure to have around the house to help kick off the season’s eatings. Mmm, eggnog, don’t mind if I do…
Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds is on Vibe, Sundays from tomorrow at 8.30pm. The Great Christmas Bake Off airs tomorrow at 6pm on Prime.
Christmas gifts
House plants are back in fashion and among the hottest this year are the angular mother-in-law’s tongue; the frothy maidenhair ferns (and any potted fern), kentia palms; and the cute-as string-ofpearls succulent. Traditional and much-loved potted Christmas gifts include poinsettias and amaryllis.
Personalise your gifts by doing some research on the plant, such as where it’s from and its horticultural requirements, or a quote about it, or any interesting fact you can unearth, then write it out on a card.
The biggest trend in outdoor plants is shrubs and small trees, which dovetail neatly with the tendency to smaller gardens. Little Japanese maples, miniature conifers, daphne, roses, lilac and (clumping) bamboo are sure to be welcomed in most gardens – and they can stay in pots if need be.
Or for plants that do triple duty – they fruit, look good and are a little different – try Chilean guava (also known as New Zealand cranberries), loquat, mountain pawpaw, or persimmon.
Edibles
Growing cut-and-come-again leafy greens, such as corn salad, dandelion, lettuce, mizuna, mustard, bok choi, parsley, rocket, sorrel and spinach means there is always something tasty to add to a meal. They can be grown in both containers and in the garden. Containers are best at least 45cm deep and 45cm wide.
Thin sowings of vegetables, such as radish, carrot, lettuce. Crowded conditions stress plants and result in spindly growth.
Give citrus trees a nitrogen-rich feed to promote new growth.
triumphant – transformation into a refusenik. Animal Farm meets Metamorphosis, yes. But this absurdist anthropomorphic novella from the 90s could also be a poster for the #MeToo movement. (In fact, we were always a movement.)
The Jolly Christmas Postman by Janet and Allan Ahlberg
Like all the Ahlberg picture books, this jolly book is a rhythmic, irreverent, code-switching masterpiece. As ritual Christmas Eve reading to children over the years, it’s among my most-read books. (I was still trying to read it to them when they were 14.) I know
Continue to mound up potatoes. Dig them up just before cooking, as early varieties do not store well.
Lime soil in anticipation of planting brassicas. Avoid planting them in the same spot two years running – or risk club root, a soilborne fungus.
Ornamentals
Keep on top of weeds. This is best done every few days, for as the temperatures rise so does the speed of growth.
Step up dead-heading flowering shrubs, perennials and annuals to get them looking in tip-top shape for Christmas.
Should your daffodils need to be shifted, for whatever reason, December is the time to do it.
Plant anemones for winter blooms.
Mulch all the garden as heavily as you are able. Using grass clippings, pea straw, leaf mould, compost, and so on. This will help preserve moisture – especially important if you are going away over the holiday period.
Organise someone to keep an eye on your garden if you are heading off, to ensure it doesn’t dry out.
– Mary Lovell-Smith
The idea – throw these youngsters and oldsters together and see what happens.
this book off by heart, and I think it influenced my poetry. By the way, replacing ‘‘jolly’’ with ‘‘f...ing’’ seems exactly what Allan was on about. Anne Kennedy is a poet, novelist and screenplay editor who lives in Auckland. Her novel The Ice Shelf (Victoria University Press, $30) is out now.