From the editor

There was a time in my life when I went looking for the kind of stories you’ll find on page 8 – stories about what it’s like to resolve yourself to a life without children. They were hard to come by.

People who have never wanted children are often happy to explain their point of view. Likewise, lots of people who are trying to conceive or who got there in the end are happy to discuss their heartache, their hopes and their triumphs.

But those who wanted kids but, for more complex reasons, didn’t end up having them are a special case.

Or so I thought. As Cecile Meier reveals, it’s actually a pretty common scenario. Chances are you already know someone who’s in this position.

Meier spoke to researcher Lois Tonkin, who has collected stories of women who are ‘‘circumstantially’’ childless in a book, Motherhood Missed, that’s been lauded around the world. Naturally, their stories are full of sadness. And it’s a grief that resides somewhere very deep inside, that suffuses everything every day, and that, I imagine, takes a lot of work to learn to live with.

Years ago, I interviewed Tonkin about her work as a grief counsellor. I asked how she managed to cope with being around all that overwhelming sadness. She said, actually, her clients were really inspiring.

In grief, she said, most people develop qualities they come to really value. Things like compassion, courage and kindness. The ability to find joy in small things. An enlarged perspective.

I hope you’ll also find these stories inspiring. And to the many women in this position: you are not alone. In fact, you’re in excellent company.