They are mum and dad to 170 boys
After careers as Corrections officers, Darren and Dorah Farrow knew they wanted to stop kids ending up in jail but weren’t sure how.
Now, after steering 170 boys back on to the straight and narrow, their efforts have been recognised.
The Hamilton-based Oranga Tamariki caregivers were recipients of the Excellence in Foster Care Awards this month.
The awards recognise the extraordinary role that caregivers have in the lives of some of New Zealand’s most vulnerable tamariki and rangatahi.
For the Farrows, it began five years ago when Dorah, 49, saw an advert for caregivers and, having been in care herself, wanted to give back.
‘‘I always wanted to give back but how do you do it? How do you get to look after kids or try and do what was done for me? I just saw it online and I thought this must be it,’’ Dorah said.
Darren, 47, who is an only child and grew up in a smaller family admits he was a little hesitant at first.
‘‘Even marrying my wife and taking on the five children and grandchildren was quite overwhelming at times. So doing a family home it was going to be wow, but I kind of fitted in quite quickly with the role.
Darren had worked in the prison system for 18 years, and said he feels he makes more of a difference through this current role.
‘‘If you can come back to the front gate and stop these young boys going down that path, then it’s actually a lot more rewarding than trying to save that small percentage in prison.
‘‘So that is my main reason to give a better role model, better start to life, better parental boundaries for these kids who have been abused, neglected, etc,’’ Darren said.
The couple said the common denominator for the children coming into care is that the parents have had an abundance of children.
A lot of those children are in care because their parents still choose drugs, alcohol, and gangs over them. Neglect is a major trauma the children commonly go through.
Some of the boys have been with the pair for a number of years and the Farrows feel they need 12 months or more to make a difference in their lives.
‘‘One of their boys saw his mum die in front of his eyes and that was a traumatic experience that he had to deal with.
‘‘I think the family home environment we create makes them feel safe, a belonging, there are parental boundaries, there are mum and dad figures, there is normality, ’’ Darren said.
Initially, the Farrows said they would do five years but surpassed that mark in December and they’re not ready to stop.
‘‘It’s probably one of those ones where you go okay, time now.
‘‘We do have to devote a lot of the time to the boys and less time for ourselves. And our own children get a bit jealous because of the time we devote to the boys, so trying to find that balance is hard.
‘‘But there may come a day where we say okay, we need to spend more time together or with grandchildren or whatever outside of the role.
‘‘But at the moment I think we are quite content.
‘‘We integrate our own family with this one anyway so we get the best of both worlds,’’ Darren said.