Finding your new self

Most Millennials get their sense of identity through their jobs so what happens when they lose it? faced a crisis of confidence but managed to find some hope.

The afternoon I decided to take voluntary redundancy, I was strangely calm. Redundancy was never part of the plan. The career trajectory I’d envisioned since I decided to become a journalist didn’t include stepping off the ladder into the unknown, especially during a pandemic.

Yet, various circumstances led me to email HR and take its bait. It wasn’t until a week after my end date, the honeymoon stage long past, that it hit me: who am I without my career?

Like many Millennials, my sense of self and my career have always been intrinsically linked. It was my badge of honour, my anchor in life, a mainstay on my Instagram bio. Australian career change coach Alice Stapleton says we put such emphasis on our careers because unlike previous generations – where identities were formed earlier in life through a variety of ways – for Millennials, the promotion of higher education means we’re hitting other milestones later in life.

‘‘As a result, when we leave education now, our careers become one of the more accessible ways we can begin to forge our adult identities,’’ Stapleton says. ‘‘We are a success-driven society – the bigger your house, the more expensive your car is, the more high-flying your job sounds, the more successful you’re perceived to be, unfortunately.’’

As a result, Stapleton says we now attach a lot of our self-worth and our social status to what we do for a living, so what happens when this (unexpectedly) goes down the drain?

‘‘There is definitely a period of liminality that occurs when those in their 20s or 30s step off the career ladder,’’ she says. ‘‘They’ve forged an identity and a purpose through their career and without that direction, they suddenly feel lost.

‘‘They let go of previous aspirations, values, and who they thought they were, but they’re yet to decide what’s next. It’s an uncomfortable period for

Laura Hampson, above

anyone to go through because they’re not sure what they want or what they stand for any more.’’

I’m not alone in this feeling. In a year that’s brought a global pandemic and lockdowns to our shores, New Zealand also slid into its worst recession for more than 30 years. Unemployment climbed to more than 151,000.

Two-thirds of working Australians have had their employment impacted through redundancy, reduced hours and working from home, according to research from Roy Morgan.

Perhaps, the reason why our identities are so intertwined with our jobs is due to the amount of time actually spent at work. The average New Zealand life expectancy is 82.36 years and statistics show that we spend an average of 13 years and two months at work (compared to the one year we spend socialising).

Australian psychologist Lee Chambers says the ‘‘identity economy’’ governing Millennials’ formative years makes work into ‘‘a pivotal anchor in their lives. For some Millennials, their job is a status, an identifier and an expression of their authentic or crafted self-image.

‘‘Being made redundant not only means losing part of your identity, but causes an element of grief as society rejects your identity, forcing you to find acceptance elsewhere or change. This feeling of loss is natural, and often the more invested you are in your work, the harder it is to decouple your identity from your job.’’

So how do we reclaim our identity? Chambers’ biggest tip is to remember that finding purpose in your work is not the same as your purpose being based on your work – perhaps a more eloquent phrasing of Carrie Bradshaw adage: ‘‘[My job is] what I do, not who I am.’’

‘‘Millennials, in particular, are susceptible to hustle culture,’’ Chambers says. ‘‘Getting our head around integrating work as a part of our life stops it being a driving force behind our decisions, and allows us to find meaning in all activities and relationships we are party to.’’

To get a little bit of clarity on who we are, Chambers suggests writing down what your goals are, looking at them and asking yourself why you want to achieve them. ‘‘Keep asking why until you can’t answer, and you will start to see what is really driving you,’’ he says.

As well as using this time to re-evaluate what you want from your career, Chambers says it’s important to create a new schedule to add structure to your day.

‘‘Wake up at a consistent time, walk instead of [drive] your commute, cook your dinner when you used to have a dinner hour. Use the break from work to do some personal development, those odd jobs you’ve been putting off, and get outside in the sun and let your senses be ignited.

‘‘You’ll find you feel boosted and optimistic about the opportunities that await.’’

Who knows, you might just discover your true self while you’re at it.

‘‘My sense of self and my career have always been intrinsically linked. It was my badge of honour, my anchor in life, a mainstay on my Instagram bio.’’