James Tuhoro: From state ward triplet to a foster dad of 500
When James Tuhoro (Ngā ti Maniapoto) was born he made national headlines. The year was 1943, the place Otorohanga’s Sunnyside Hospital. A seemingly innocuous birth notice in the Auckland Star noted the September 8 ‘‘gift of three bonny boys’’ to ‘‘Mr and Mrs M. [Mason] Tuhoro (nee Myrtle Hemera)’’. The postscript declared ‘‘all well’’.
All was not well. Press coverage of what was only the second formally registered instance of triplets born to a Mā ori family focused as much on living circumstances as the babies’ health. James’ weight was quoted as 41⁄2 lb – a half pound heavier than his brother Peter and a half pound lighter than his brother John – but for the Auckland Starand the Timaru Herald the fact was secondary to future considerations. With no little condescension both papers stated that ‘‘as the parents live in Mā ori style in a one-room cottage, and already have two other children under three years of age, an application was made to a Karitane home’’. They declared ‘‘it will be impossible for the mother, under the circumstances, to attend to the triplets alone . . . ’’
If initial efforts to place James and his brothers into state sponsored care were rebuffed, the press campaign later succeeded. For their first six years the triplets were separated from whā nau and raised in a Karitane home in New Plymouth. It was a situation difficult for an infant to understand, an experience which James carried with him for the rest of his days. A half-century on he would draw on his earliest memories to help others in similar circumstances. A late career born of personal adversity was to change hundreds of lives.
James returned to Otorohanga in the late 1940s. His whā nau had grown in the interim. He was to have 12 siblings in total. James could muster little enthusiasm for either primary or secondary school. Soon after leaving the latter, he enlisted in the New Zealand Army. When he met Heather Gaby at a party in 1967, he was stationed at Waiouru Military Camp.
James and Heather were married in Hamilton in 1969. James adopted Heather’s daughter Debbie and they had two further children, one of whom died shortly after birth.
After leaving the army, James established his own judo club in Hamilton, where he and his growing family now settled.
He had been involved in the sport from an early age, competing in tournaments, rising through the ranks and earning a black belt.
James had what his wife describes as ‘‘a wonderful way with children’’. It stood him in good stead when it came to instructing the young in the Japanese martial art. If the imparting of discipline was fundamental to this process, James also had a healthy, infectious sense of humour and the ability to relate to anyone, no matter their age or circumstance.
In the early 1970s the Tuhoros shifted to Auckland. James founded another judo club, where he continued to teach.
He also found employment with Gillette, working in the manufacturing of razor blades.
Returning to Hamilton in 1993, their daughters now grown, James and Heather began looking for work. Mindful of their own parenting skills and also of James’ years working with youth and own early experience of foster care, they approached the then department of Child, Youth and Family. After meeting the formal requirements, they began fostering children.
According to Jordan, just one of the over 500 children that the
Tuhoros have fostered in last 29 years, James had the capacity ‘‘to make you feel loved’’.
He was ‘‘wickedly funny’’ and eternally patient, he and Heather mindful of the fact that each child was an individual, with specific needs often grounded in very particular life experiences. James was the ‘‘firm good cop’’, imparting basic life skills like making the bed and doing the dishes or how to erect a tent or barbecue food when on camping holidays. He taught respect for elders and to ‘‘get in and help’’ when required.
If the nature of fostering implied temporary or short-term care and the Tuhoros were always aware that ‘‘these aren’t your children’’, the relationships built were often sustained long after the formal fostering period had come to an end. Symbolically James was a father figure to hundreds; those like Jordan called him ‘‘dad’’ and meant it in a literal sense.
Even those whose lives went off the rails continued to draw support from the ever empathetic James, who was often phoned from prison by inmates he had formerly fostered.
Involved in both local and national foster care organisations, James was for a period the Chairperson of the Waikato Foster Care Association. In 2008 he and Heather received the Excellence in Foster Care Award. In 2010 they were recipients of the Queen’s Service Medal for ‘‘services to foster care’’. The last two-and-a-half years of James’ life presented health challenges that were difficult for a strong, independent man to bear. Having taught so many children to drive over the years, he was particularly disappointed when a stroke robbed him of the capacity to do so himself.
James was a caring, loving individual with a definite sense of purpose, a man who sought the best kind of therapy for the sins committed against him at an early age, ensuring others would not suffer as he had done.
James Tuhoro died June 6, 2022. He is survived by wife Heather, daughters Debbie and Michelle, 9 grandchildren and 15 greatgrandchildren.