SAY HELLO TO THE WHIPS
Dating in her 50s, Bibi Lynch has noticed a surprising trend: the men pursuing her are younger. And she’s not alone ... Meet the generation rewriting the rules of attraction.
I’m in the Apple Store, praying to Steve Jobs that my laptop can’t be fixed. Because the last image on my screen as it died was an obscene selfie sent by a beautiful young man. And the last thing I need is it popping up in front of an IT guy. Please don’t judge me. This is what happens to your inbox when you start to date younger men in the early 21st century. Because while on a bad day there’s more than a touch of Nanny McPhee about me, my 51-year-old self seems to be attracting many young bucks. And I’m not unusual.
Just check out this roll call of famous women and their men. Madonna, 59, is dating model Kevin Sampaio, 31 — the latest in a line of hot younger beaux. Mariah Carey, 47, is enjoying an on/off romance with dancer Bryan Tanaka, 34; and Demi Moore, 54, has reportedly been canoodling with actor Tobey Maguire, 42. (Demi was also previously linked to art dealer Vito Schnabel, 31, and diver Will Hanigan, 34 — as well as being married to Ashton Kutcher, 39.)
And, of course, there is the glorious love story between Brigitte Macron, 64, and her husband, the French President Emmanuel, 39. (Let’s not dwell on the fact she was his teacher and he was 15 when they met.)
But the ultimate poster girl for age-gap relationships is Sam Taylor-Johnson. The 50-year-old film-maker and artist is married to actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson, 27. (Check out his Instagrammed 50th-birthday gift to her: a “Sam” tattoo. On quite a torso ... dear God.) “I don’t notice it now — we just instinctively gel,” he has said about the age difference. “People who know me call me Benjamin Button — they think I’m an old soul and she’s a young soul.”
So what in the name of Joan Collins (84, married to Percy Gibson, 52) is going on? This is what Madonna said in 2015: “It’s just what happens. Most men my age are married with children. They’re not dateable. I’m a very adventurous person and I also have a crazy life. I’m a single mother ... I mean, you have to be open-minded and adventurous to want to step into my world. People who are older, and more set in their ways, are probably not as adventurous as someone younger.”
Is she really right? Is this “just what happens” now? Madeleine Mason, dating and relationship psychologist and director of dating coaching company PassionSmiths, thinks so: “Age is becoming less of an issue for both genders. And age gap relationships where women are older than their male partners have become more accepted, thanks to shows like Cougar Town and female celebrities marrying younger men.”
She cites a survey last year by Match.com, which found that one in four women were open to dating men 10 years younger. “And there are now hundreds of dating sites specifically for older women and younger men,” she adds.
It may be a trend, but I can’t be the only person to find the term “cougar” repulsive. It’s predatory, naff, insulting to the woman and the man. And “toyboy” isn’t exactly complimentary to anyone, either. (A boy to be toyed with? No, thanks.) Instead, I’m going to campaign for older women who are dating younger men to henceforth be called Whips — Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime. And the men shall be called really bloody lucky.
So let me tell you what’s happening to this Whip. The last two dates I went on were with a 26-year-old and a 35-year-old (not at the same time). And the men DMing me on Twitter are also in their 20s and 30s. These pore-less, firmjawed men are clever, successful, creative, and
I’m going to campaign for older women who are dating younger men to henceforth be called Whips — Women who are Hot, Intelligent and in their Prime.