‘There is always hope’
Jazz Thornton, 25, remembers the loneliness she carried on her shoulders while living on the streets as a teen, with no one to turn to. She’d run away from sexual abuse, a delusion of normal that she’d lived with since she was 3 years old. Then school bullying started.
Thornton was 12 when she first tried to take her own life. It wouldn’t be the only time.
“After one attempt, they tried to take me to hospital but the hospital wouldn’t admit me because I didn’t have a next-of-kin.”
She spent nine years in and out of hospital and mental health wards fighting her own mind.
Now, she wishes she could tell her teenage-self that there is hope.
“No matter how dark you feel there is always hope. I stand as proof of that,” Thornton says. Genevieve Mora, 26, is also proof.
At the age of 14 she was hospitalised to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anorexia and anxiety.
“I had completely isolated myself from all my friends. They’d ask to come visit me and hospital and I didn’t let them. I really didn’t want to see people.
“I thought no one knew I was sick but it turns out the whole school knew,” Mora says.
When you’re being thrown into the hospital system or you’re in the dark it can feel like it’s never going to end, Mora says.
“I just wish someone had told me I was going to get through it and I was going to be okay.”
Together the pair have created a journal called My Journey Starts Here for people who are struggling to see the light.
Its pages are filled with space for personal reflection, goal-setting, organising support systems and creating strategies for difficult moments. All are tools that helped Mora and Thornton get through to the other side.
Some are exercises psychologists had given Mora but most are coping mechanisms they developed on their own.
With inspirational quotes, gratitude exercises, colouring-in pages and where to find help, it provides a practical and creative outlet for those struggling with mental health or simply looking to improve their personal outlook on life.
“There wasn’t anything like this when we were at our lowest. I wish there was,” Mora says.
The journal was released worldwide on January 5 before being available in New Zealand on January 19.
In 2014, Thornton and Mora launched a non-profit organisation called Voices of Hope, aimed to break the stigma around mental illness, to decrease suicide rates and show that hope is real and help is available.
The duo were awarded the Commonwealth Points of Light Award, which was created by the Queen, as the head of Commonwealth, to thank inspirational volunteers for making a difference in their communities.
Their first campaign, “Dear Suicidal Me”, received more than 800 million views worldwide.
Both women echo comments from O’callaghan and Webb about the power of sharing lived experiences.
“For a very long time we were lacking in lived experienced stories. There was quite a big stigma in New Zealand of not sharing the struggles that you’ve been through and it was very taboo. I think over the last five or so years we have seen quite a significant shift on that.
“A lot of the people who are creating this type of content and speaking out are the ones that wished they had that,” Thornton said.
Advice for kids heading back to school who might be struggling
It’s important to share your feelings with someone you trust, whether that’s a parent, counsellor, friend or teacher.
Be kind to yourself and take it slow.
Advice for parents who are noticing their child is struggling
Don’t discredit their struggle.
Be open to conversation, ask them how they are going and take the time to listen. Give them space to respond. Make it part of your everyday routine.
My Journey Starts Here (Penguin NZ, $30)