Claire Trevett
his week, Prime Minister Bill English finally got to try out one of the perks of his job — leading a delegation on the RNZAF Boeing. It was English’s first such trip as PM and first trip around the Pacific, with a rag- tag pack of MPs.
The tradition is for the PM to travel around three or four islands, sprinkling money about as he or she goes like some kind of Tinker Bell.
For the Pacific leaders it was also the first chance to assess Engli sh and ( more importantly for some) Foreign Minister Gerry Brownlee after eight years of John Key and Murray McCully.
So how did it all go down?
It was the PM’s first visit to the Cooks — but the presence of Cook Islands PM Henry Puna was also apparently a novelty for the island. Its Parliament rarely sits and Puna spends so much time travelling that on the first day, the local Cook Island News noted Puna was back for a visit to host English’s visit.
It has taken to running a weekly Ministerial travel diary to highlight the amount of time ministers are out of the country.
Despite some local concern about Puna’s absences, others say his advocacy in international forums has helped put the Cook Islands on the map.
English is full of praise for his host, in particular his work on the environment, illegal fisheries and trying to get the Cook Islands economy into shape.
English is still getting used to the higher profile of being a PM.
He has a fairly small media pack for such a visit, but nevertheless approaches the stand of microphones with some awe — observing how “impressive” they are and stroking the fluffy microphones.
The media are still keen to get revenge for the starvation on the plane, but English proves to be more wary of a risky photo op than his predecessor, who would do almost anything for the cameras.
When a reporter suggests it would be a great idea for him to run through some slalom sticks with the children at a sports field, English firmly rejects it.
Nor does he take up the offer of a hula hoop.
This is not what the media are accustomed to.
English also sticks to his vow not to dance again after the Samoa experience — he’d said he’d leave it to Peters. But strangely when the time comes for audience participation at a state dinner in his honour, he gets in deep in conversation with someone, and both Peters and Foreign Minister Gerry Brownlee are seen sprinting for the back doors. Urgent phone calls apparently. It is left to Alfred Ngaro — who as a Cook Islander actually does know how to dance — while others including Peter Dunne, Jonathan Young and Carmel Sepuloni jiggle about a bit.
English is busy tossing out pickup lines at NZ First leader Peters, starting at the marae, where he singles him out for a special mention because of his seniority.
He wades in again that night — in a rather more obvious fashion. Speaking at a reception he observes the election is coming up and he may have to negotiate with some of those on the delegation — he names Dunne and Peters, but forgets the Maori Party’s Marama Fox
He makes the audience titter by telling them about Dipton: where it was so cold his parents had 12 children.
English isn’t a complete killjoy. He winds up his time in the Cooks the traditional way — a few beers at Trader Jacks.
The others are there as well, including Peters, still diligently avoiding being seen near English.
The PM’s motorcade hoots its way back to his hotel through the quiet Raro roads at about 10.30pm. Talagi can be stroppy but appeared to give English his vote of approval after deciding there would be little change to the approach taken by Key and McCully.
In English’s speech we also discover all roads lead to Dipton. He told the Cook Islanders Rarotonga reminded him of Southland, for reasons forgotten. Today it was Niue’s turn. “It feels quite a long way away and is not always remembered by everybody.”
It is Niue that delivers the photo op the media has been waiting for. Finally it is silly hat time.
They arrive at the waka display to discover English, Ngaro and Brownlee sitting side by side in identical grass hats clutching coconuts and being told a local legend about beautiful women and childbirth.
English knows what the media are up to and keeps removing his hat, hoping to escape.
There is no escape. Thank you Niue.
In between it all, English and Peters continue their odd courtship game.
Peters is playing hard to get — he knows everybody is watching so assiduously avoids talking to him or standing close enough for a photo together when the media are around.
English almost blushes when he is asked by media whether the pair have had any quality bonding time on the trip.
He stammers that he has known Peters since the 1990s. No, they have not had deep and meaningful conversations about the future but “it’s not hard to guess what’s on his mind and my mind.
“It’s great to have him on the trip. We get on fine.”
The Herald is informed the pair have periodically exchanged courtesies, but little else. A watched pot never boils. Peters has spent more time bonding with a uga ( crab) than