Steve Braunias’ Secret Diary of ...

MONDAY

I’m the victim here.

Intolerant people are hating on me ever since I made a few general comments about God consigning homosexuals to burn in Hell for all eternity.

It all started when a person asked me about God’s plan for gay people. I didn’t know that person, but that didn’t matter. I believed he was looking for guidance and I answered him honestly and from the heart.

I think of it this way: you see someone who is about to walk into a hole and have the chance to save him. He might be determined to maintain his course and doesn’t want to hear what you have to say. But if you don’t tell him the truth, as unpopular as it might be, he is going to fall into that hole. What do you do?

You step up, open your mouth, and fall screaming arse over head into a hole.

TUESDAY

It’s dark down here in the hole but in my heart I am happy. For does not the

Bible say, “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile ye, and persecute ye and shall say all manner of evil against ye. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in Heaven.”

Which verily is better than Hell.

Hell is hot and sweaty, and the only people in it are men, and their hands reach out every which way around the groin area, so ye could say it’s like a ruck.

Which verily is confusing.

WEDNESDAY

Great will be my reward in Heaven, but right now this hole is pretty average.

I feel the need to dig myself out, and the best way to go about that is to grab a shovel, and get digging, deeper and deeper.

It has been suggested that I have a problem with gay people.

This could not be further from the truth. Certainly they deserve to suffer the endless agonies and punishments of Hell, but I’m talking about sin as the Bible describes it, not just homosexuality, which I think has been lost on a lot of people.

For does not the Bible say, “Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor the drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Well, I haven’t had any grief from swindlers or thieves or drunkards.

The only ones making a fuss are homosexuals. They say they have the right to be heard.

But what about my rights? Am I to silence my beliefs? Do we really want a society where free speech is condemned?

Most people against me are liberals on Twitter. But people in rugby stand with me, and they will make their voices heard.

THURSDAY

All Black half-back TJ Perenara wrote on Twitter, “Let it go on record that I am 100 per cent against the comments that were made by Israel. It was not ok to say that. It’s not an attitude I want to see in the game I love. There is no justification for such harmful comments.”

His words were probably taken out of context.

FRIDAY

I don’t belong in this hole. It’s a bit like Hell. It’s horrible, and dark, and I can’t see my contract with the Warratahs.

I cried out to God, “Help get me out of here! What do you recommend?”

“Well,” replieth the Lord, “how about you STFU?”