Beautiful and bizarre — a masterpiece
It’s like a modern Breughel, writes Calum Henderson
First Dates NZ is a masterpiece masquerading as a lightweight reality dating show. It’s the modern-day version of one of those Renaissance paintings, the ones that show a village in the middle of a festival, where every centimetre of the canvas is bustling with activity; a vibrant, grotesque kaleidoscope of humanity in which the agony and the ecstasy of life is on full display.
The only difference is that this time the setting is a posh Auckland restaurant, and the 16th-century peasants have been replaced by single New Zealanders hoping to find love and companionship on a blind date set up by a television production company.
In the show’s return to TVNZ 2 on Thursday night, this 21st century scene is captured with the usual eye for the beautiful and the bizarre.
Here in the First Dates NZ dining room we find Callum, a hardcase young farrier from Cambridge, whose outward confidence has been betrayed by a devastating close-up of his nervous shuffling feet at the bar. Now he’s chivalrously hiding a bowl of tomato sauce for a lark after his date Natalie professed a phobia of the condiment. “It is going spectacularly,” he confesses to the maitre d’ while his date is in the restroom. He is unaware he is about to be blindsided by the cruel revelation that he looks exactly like her brother.
At another table, 5-foot nothingand-a-bit Laura is enduring what appears to be the world’s most excruciatingly awkward date with shy data scientist Jimmy. This is the first date he’s ever been on.
“So do you like art or … ” he asks in a desperate attempt to spark conversation. “I’ve been single all my life,” he admits in a cutaway interview, “ever since I was born.”
Professionally awkward radio host PJ from ZM is there too, bonding over OCD traits with a handsome moustache called Jayden. The goodnatured fireman takes it in his stride when cold-ridden PJ starts loudly blowing her nose and drowning out the waitress’ explanation of ahi poke.
Then there’s Sue. A First Dates NZ legend, the grandma first appeared on the show last series when they set her up with a total dud. “It doesn’t have to be Richard Gere,” she says of her prospective match, “but it’d be nice if he could dance.” This time she’s been set up with a kind, gentlemanly IT tutor called Barry, who walks in carrying flowers, and they hit it off immediately.
A lesser show would get by on manufactured conflict or stitch up its participants to make them look like total idiots; First Dates NZ is made with warmth and humour and gives them just enough rope to reveal a glimpse of their true personalities. It holds up a mirror and what it reflects back is weird and embarrassing and funny and sometimes so heartwarming it just about makes you want to cry. It’s a modern day masterpiece.
First Dates NZ is on TVNZ 2, 8.30pm Thursdays.