With a little help from my friends
Jehan Casinader hosts The Inside Word, TVNZ’s first series dedicated to mental health issues. Here, he asks some of his guests about their toughest moments — and how they learned to open up.
CLAIRE ROBBIE
Journalist, yoga teacher and founder of No Beers? Who Cares
One of the biggest challenges you’ve faced? Giving up drinking. In my 20s, I was a big drinker, but it made me into an obnoxious, extreme version of myself. There were all these things I wanted to do, and I wasn’t achieving them. I was just bored, and I felt like I was stuck in someone else’s life. So I gave up drinking. The first year was really hard, but that’s when I realised, “Oh my gosh, I really have developed a dependency on booze.” I started learning about yoga and mediation, and began taking responsibility for my life.
Why did you decide to speak about it?
If I said publicly that I was giving up drinking, then I knew I would hold myself to it. And I wanted to see if anyone would do it with me. I knew many mums, like me, who would talk about having evening drinks to cope with working and looking after their kids. So I knew that there were others in the same boat as me. Now, I get a message every day from someone whose life has changed for the better after giving up alcohol. It’s been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.
JAZZ THORNTON
Director and founder of Voices of Hope Your challenge?
Fighting my own belief that I was unlovable. I was bullied from the age of 6 until I left high school, and I tried to take my life 14 times. I felt like I was a burden to everyone and that I had no worth. It was so hard because every day I would wake up not wanting to live. I had a few key people in my life, who were able to help me realise that how I felt about myself didn’t reflect the reality. Through their love and support, I began changing my thought patterns and was able to regain my confidence.
Why did you speak?
I looked around and realised that there were so many people struggling with the same things I had struggled with, and I felt a real sense of urgency to do something about it. Along with my friend Genevieve Mora, I created Voices of Hope, an organisation that uses social media to allow people to share their experiences with mental health. No matter what you’re going through, it’s possible to get through.
ASHTON BROWN
Writer and comedian Your challenge? Telling my parents about my depression. I was on my gap year in England and I convinced
myself the reason I had depression was that I had drunk too much or partied too hard. I thought I had lost my mind, and I thought my parents would be cross at me. I wrote them an email saying, “I’m so sorry, something has happened to my brain, and I think it may be irreversible.”
They were the most amazing, loving, wonderful people on the planet. They told me I had done nothing wrong, and that they would support me.
Why did you speak?
I realised that I would do anything to stop another person from going through what I went through. As someone who had come out the other side, I needed to be brave. And as a comedian, I want to make people laugh, but I also want to talk about issues that are really important to me, like mental health. I have done comedy about my anxiety and depression, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly humbling. The audience wants to see performers be honest.
ZAC FRANICH
The Bachelor star and surf lifesaving coach Your challenge?
Realising that I was broken. I was a sprint kayaker and went through quite a lengthy selection dispute that ended up in the High Court. That experience did break me, mentally and emotionally. Months later, I hit rock bottom. I was depressed, I wasn’t able to get out of bed in the morning, and I was really anxious all the time. I thought: “Shit, I’m dealing with quite a lot here, and I need to ask for help.” And I was okay with that. I hadn’t been cast into the abyss; I just needed to put the pieces back together. Why did you speak? I actually found it quite liberating to talk about what I’d been through. On The Bachelor, I said “Hey, this is who I am, and this is part of my journey.” I wanted to be unashamedly honest. I did it because I want people to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable. Especially guys, if you’re trying to impress a girl or win their approval, vulnerability is a lot better than being stoic and staunch and pretending you don’t have any feelings.
NOA WOOLLOFF
Teen dad and founder of Increase Clothing
Your challenge?
I became a dad when I was 16. That same year, I became the head boy of my college. There was quite a lot of controversy when that happened. There were many people who believed that I’d ruined my life and my daughter’s life, and it was crazy because they didn’t really know me. That was rough, and nothing could really prepare me for it.
Why did you speak?
Not many people talk about teen parenthood, and when they do, it often has a negative spin on it.
I saw an opportunity to try and reach other young parents who don’t have anyone to speak on their behalf. I started Increase Clothing, a social enterprise that creates T-shirts in collaboration with Kiwi artists. All the profits help young parents to access leadership opportunities. I really want to open doors for them.