Aussies, the Blues falling over each other to lose

A solitary Bledisloe victory over a half-strength All Blacks last year can’t paper over the cracks across the Tasman. The Wallabies were thumped by England and twice destroyed by Scotland last year. Their coach, Michael Cheika, fluctuates between tactical mastermind and over-tired child blaming anyone and everyone but himself and players for the mounting losses.

And there’s chaos elsewhere. Rugby Australia is permanently rummaging down the back of the couch for cash. This week one of their most senior and best-educated Wallabies, Nick Phipps, dressed up as a cow and disgraced himself by urinating in a bar. And captain Michael Hooper hasn’t made any reassuring noises about taking a fiveyear A$5 million deal he’s reportedly been offered.

Israel Folau managed to alienate vast tracts of the population, dragging rugby back to the dark ages and yet still avoided any official reprimand, solving the mystery of whether player or executive power holds sway across the Tasman.

With a strategic paper in front of them about the future of Super Rugby, NZR’s generosity might have to end. They have, after all, killed their own provincial competition over the past 20 years to allow Australia to build theirs.

They have shared millions in Super Rugby TV revenue even though the Kiwi teams drive the vast majority of the audience and they indulged the ARU when they wanted to put a team in Melbourne and then in Perth.

To go suddenly cold on Australia may seem like a radical departure from the current thinking, but any statement that New Zealand needs Australia is missing six words: “like a hole in the head”.