‘I don’t live this grand celebrity life’
Michele Manelis talks with Nicole Kidman about her new film, crime thriller Destroyer
Destroyer was difficult enough to watch, how was it to play?
It was such a stretch for me and so different from anything I’d done. I did A Boy Erased and then four weeks later I was doing this. As an actor, that is an extraordinary gift to be given. The chance to play such polar opposite mothers, but who are both on a similar journey, which is trying to heal a lot of the wrongs that they’ve committed.
It must be hard not to take that kind of emotionally gruelling role home with you?
I would take her home. I am lucky because my husband is so understanding of the artistic process so he gives me space.
And the kids?
My children were a bit shocked, particularly with how I looked. But they’re also 10 and 7 now, so they are used to having an actress mother and they are used to seeing me explore things. I answer questions for them and subsequently, their imaginations are very, very ripe.
What was involved in the training?
I was lucky because I was able to train with military men who were very tough on me. I didn’t know how to use the weapons before but now I know how to use all of them.
Who entertains you in your life and in what way?
My kids. I can watch [them] over and over and over again. I think they are the most talented, extraordinary children! Keith sent me a thing of Faith playing violin and I think I must have watched it 20 times. And I called him and I said, “She’s fantastic!” And he’s like, “Yes. She’s getting better!”
Does being a mother in real life help you create the mothers you play on screen?
Always. I think my main pull is playing that maternal energy. I can access emotion so quickly now and I can process it and move with it, but I feel it so intensely.
Will you ever write a book about your life?
Never! And you can hold me to that. Isn’t that funny? I have a thing about protecting people and honouring and being respectful. Besides that, I just don’t have the interest. I mean I can talk to you and tell you stories but the idea of putting things down on paper, I just feel awkward with it.
Do you still write for yourself?
Not every day. If I am troubled, if I want to express something to my husband.
What do you write to your husband?
Sometimes a note is really sweet and now our children will write notes because they see that we write notes. We will often leave a note in their bags or in their backpack or lunchbox.
How tough are you in real life?
I think I have this idea that I am stronger than I actually am. So my own physical strength is not anything to write home about but I like to think that my emotional strength has been built and that I’m resilient and able to keep going.
Where does your emotional strength come from?
There have been times in my life when I have gone, “I actually don’t think I am going to get through this,” and then it’s almost surprising. And I have been down on my knees and I have prayed for strength and it’s come. You find it from places you don’t even think you have.
Did losing your dad have an effect on how you pursue your career?
I think it puts time in a whole different perspective. It was so traumatic for me and my family. It made me want to not waste any minute or any moment. But I also feel him, I feel his protection and I feel him there.
Is there something you wished you could have said or asked him?
So many things. Anyone that has lost a loved one suddenly, it’s a very different journey. You miss a lot of things that you would have wanted to say.
You said in a magazine that you don’t feel like a celebrity in the way Beyonce is. That makes no sense to me.
Well, Beyonce is a Queen. She’s Queen Bey. I don’t have that kind of fame. I see myself as an actor. I have been doing this now since I was 14 and with that comes scrutiny. I live in Nashville for a reason.
What’s the reason?
I just like the peacefulness of it there and I like the solitude. And Keith and I actually have a very normal life and we say it over and over again and people always go, “Yeah, right!” But we work hard for it and to protect it, but we have a very simple life there. So that is probably why I don’t feel like I live this grand celebrity life.