WORLD CUP JERSEYS
— from the worst to the best
Sports journalist Dylan Cleaver ranks the World Cup jerseys, with the help of Viva fashion director Dan Ahwa. 20. Uruguay
Designed by a 5-year-old with a box of pastels of which light blue was the only unbroken colour. The multicoloured round-neck collar is strange and even the nicely stylised crest can’t save these jumpers — they’re not the worst team at the World Cup, but they’re definitely the worst dressed.
Dan says: Is this the uniform for the official cleaning team at the RWC?
19. Ireland
What in the name of Maewyn Succat is going on here? The alternative jerseys, with their white and green marl body, look suspiciously like T-shirts for overweight men that always find their way into bargain bins. The jerseys have incorporated Ogham script, a medieval alphabet and you can’t fault the home jersey but Canterbury’s alternative is so repulsive it’s dragged these proud Irishmen down.
Dan says: The national colour of green works well here, but the alternative jersey reminds me of something a bunch of PE teachers would wear on an away day.
18. Namibia
There’s nothing particularly wrong or right about the Mizuno-produced strips. Perhaps we shouldn’t expect sartorial fireworks from a team whose nickname — the Welwitschias — comes from a low-lying plant.
Dan says: They’re all booked for a one-way trip to Squaresville with this look.
17. USA
It’s hardly USA Rugby’s fault, but we’ve had so many Trump rallies on the telly now that we all know how ugly American nationalism looks. Having the stars and stripes across the shoulders and sleeves instantly has your eyes going upwards to see if said shirt-wearer is sporting a red MAGA hat.
Dan says: A very corny jersey that looks like it was designed in Microsoft Paint.
16. Russia
Canterbury usually gets criticised for playing it safe, so I’m going to give Russia some credit here for taking a (far) left turn. Not quite sure what’s going on across the chest there but at least it’s something.
Dan says: Looks like they’re on the way to a folk night? Not vibing this at all.
15. South Africa
Asics has given them a collar that looks like they’re all wearing white singlets, or that it’s an ode to the Roman Catholic church. The Springbok green will always be one of the iconic rugby outfits, but they do not need to be this glossy.
Dan says: I don’t get what’s happening around the neckline. Are they meant to look like they’re wearing a white T-shirt underneath their jerseys with a yellow neckerchief? Confusing.
14. Australia
If the floodlights fail, matches involving the Wallabies will be able to continue via the light of their shirts. Asics calls it gold, I call it canary yellow. But they get a big boost up the list because the alternative strip has an Aboriginal-inspired design. Dan says: It’s hard to make jaundice-yellow and broccoli look great together, but perhaps that’s part of the Wallabies’ strategy — to wear the most questionable colour combination ever so as to deter the competition. The only thing that saves this is the alternative jersey’s terrific indigenous motif.
13. Tonga
Backed by Japanese sportswear firm Mizuno, Tonga’s jersey has a nice touch if a little imperceptible from a distance: the thin horizontal stripes are designed to look like a Samurai breastplate. Like Namibia’s design by the same producer, nothing much stands out.
Dan says: Sharp use of red and white here. Not bad, not great.
12. Canada
I really like the maple-leaf detail across the chest. Sure, it’s just a red jersey but it reminds me of a time when men were men and Canterbury rugby jerseys all looked like a sturdier version of this.
Dan says: I never realised it was possible to make a vibrant colour like red look so dull, yet the Canadians have succeeded.
11. Fiji
You’ve got to admire a crest that labels the team “Flying Fijians”; the great shame is that after two games, including one against lowly Uruguay, they’re not.
Dan says: Another great example of a jersey that celebrates indigenous design.
9. Georgia
Georgia gets bonus points here because their jersey is such a departure from previous iterations. In 2015 they turned up in an Under Armour number that featured the Georgian cross — it was striking but not in a good way. Here, with Canterbury as sponsor, they’ve gone for a deep maroon.
Dan says: It looks comfortable. I would wear this to the dairy.
9. Scotland
Like their Celtic mates, Scotland would rank a lot higher if Macron hadn’t produced a bilious alternative in washed-out blue. The home shirt will always look good because they’ve used the best shade of blue and it has some bells and thistles, including Mackintosh toffee-wrapper tartan across the shoulders.
Dan says: Surprisingly cool with the inclusion of tartan patches on the shoulders. Not sure about the V-neck tartan bit though. How about tartan shorts next time? A tartan tracksuit?
8. England
Canterbury has done a nice job of England’s kit but . . . it’s England. If it came with the weight of success Real Madrid’s all-white strip carries, then maybe we’d have a bit more respect for it. But as it stands, the whole red-rose-on-the-chest thing just makes the faces of those who wear it a bit slappable.
Dan says: A crisp and sharp white look. The red side slashes and asymmetrical collars are an interesting detail. The alternative kit again looks sharp, and a great colour combination of red and navy.
7. France
People love the French strip because it’s French. They picture themselves wearing the home jersey while strolling along the Left Bank, smoking a Gauloise and carrying a baguette under their left arm. The new-look, old-school France rugby crest is neat, but looks a bit silly parked next door to a slightly smaller rooster.
Dan says: Hard not to admire this commanding shade of blue with the inclusion of a new stylised red rooster. Super cool.
6. Samoa
This could be a perfect piece of kit, but while the tribal tattoo works perfectly on the home jersey, it’s a little garish on the alternative strip. Dan says: Powerful. How striking does the tatau artwork look? These are jerseys for warriors and chiefs.
5. New Zealand
The Adidas colab jersey looks like it’s designed with crepe paper and you have to wonder why you’d make the most daunting sports garment in the world less intimidating. The alternative is perfectly fine, remembering that nothing will ever sink lower than the atrocious silver number worn in 2007. Just quietly, this is our least favourite All Black jersey for some time, which puts me in direct opposition to . . .
Dan says: Probably the best All Blacks jersey to date with its 3Dtextured effect designed in collaboration with Japanese designer Yohji Yamamoto. Also great to see some indigenous design work. Like the All Blacks, black will never go out of style.
4. Wales
Yeah, we know that red is just red, but have a closer look and you’ll notice a quartered pattern that is fairly bold. The badge with the sewed-on effect is retro cool and the dark green alternative lifts the whole package. Nice work, Wales.
Dan says: A minimalist yet effective design, the open collar is a nice touch.
3. Argentina
The home jersey is a classic and even if you knew nothing about rugby, the country it belongs to is instantly recognisable. Nike has gone all sorts of radical with the alternative strip, inserting a bold vertical stripe and mixing in different shades of blue and even pink.
Dan says: I get it’s their classic blue and white stripe, but it’s a little dated, even if the fabrics are cutting edge. Their alternative jerseys look more modern and intimidating. A retro pastiche.
Braam Steyn shows off Italy’s jersey
2. Japan
We are such fans of the classic cherry and white hoops but everybody else seems to love Canterbury’s radical take on a Samurai skin. Just this once we’re bowing to public pressure — the longer you stare at it, the bolder and more striking it seems.
Dan says: I like the reference to Samurai with this bold and graphic design. It also reminds me slightly of the Transformers. It’s a great example of a uniform that does more on the field to distract or even intimidate the opposition.
1. Italy
Designer Macron got it so wrong with Scotland’s alternative jersey but got it so right here. Italy have always had a fantastic kit to distract from their woeful record. Their home jersey is classic blue and borders on minimalist with the contrasting blue to keep it interesting.
Dan says: It’s true what they say: Italians do it better. Here’s a kit that has a stylish finesse. It has a great mix of blues and the alternative jersey includes a striking sporty pinstripe in navy against white. Both very modern and crisp.