This is the big one that won’t slip away

This can only go one way. Late in the game Tom Robinson will steal the ball from a Crusaders throw on the line and prevent them scoring from a rolling maul. Length-of-thefield try to follow, with the ball handled by 14 of the Blues players before the 15th, substitute Dalton Papalii, still shaking off the aftereffects of appendicitis, scores under the posts.

Nepo Laulala will own the scrums. Beaudie and Perofetts will be everywhere, bamboozling defenders who never know if they will kick, pass or run straight past them.

Brother Rieko will be in such scorching form his boots will catch fire. Brother Akira will be the hero of the charge, scoring and scoring again. RTS will achieve his predestined greatness, thunderous on defence, a twinkle-toed distribution genius on attack. Mark Telea will be so busy the ref will to check there are not three of him on the field.

And Luke Romano will arrive to inflict the punishment only possible when you’re doing it to the team you used to play for. Payback for every time they used up his Lynx. As always, coach Leon MacDonald will enjoy himself in his own way: Smiling grimly, or staring grimly without smiling. Seems to work.

And Michael Jones, Carlos Spencer, Zinzan Brooke, Sean Fitzpatrick, all the greats, they won’t be grim at all. They’ll be beaming. They deserve this.

I used to write about the Blues, week in and out, back when they were contenders, or going to be. To be honest they were never remotely going to be. They couldn’t nail the big games, which was rough, but they gave away the soft ones too, which was hideous.

It was tough, being a fan. But we are still here, with a sellout crowd to prove it. The fans deserve today.

So do the players, because while we did it hard, they were the ones down the mines. A lot of the guys from the dark days are still in the team and will be on the park today. They’ve got better. You have to say Big Leon has done that.

But it isn’t all him. The culture shift comes off them in waves: They’ve become a team who know how to be a team. More credit where it’s due: To the inspiration of Barrett, I imagine, and to the leadership of Papalii.

I know some people will think this kind of carry-on will jinx them. But I’m not superstitious so I don’t care. If you think the best, it’s

Rieko will be in such scorching form his boots will catch fire

surprising how often it happens.

Still, I’m not a fool. You look at those teams, player for player, and who would know? You could build a fine All Blacks XV around either of them. Every member of the matchday Blues is in the form of his life. Most of the Crusaders are not far off.

And look at the players who can change a game. Finlay Christie, who’s always there. But also, OMG, Will Jordan and Sevu Reece. Could someone pleeease sneak into the dressing room and tie their boot laces together.

Maybe it’s just going to be too hard to watch. Probably it is. The sweet, sweet agony of it all.

Two more predictions. It won’t be a superspreader event: People will wear masks and fans who don’t feel well will stay home.

And it will be an exemplar of how well transport can work in this city. Most people going to the game will use the “free” trains and buses, the cost of which is built into their tickets. Excellent service, that. Well, what did you expect me to say?