Master your mind to bring change
Suicide is a delicate subject and one in which we should all tread carefully I feel.
The only conversation I will ever be 100 per cent comfortable with when it comes to suicide is the openness to interventions around prevention of it. While we have had plenty of mental health supports in place, suicide continues.
I don’t need a masters to tell me that something’s not working. We could keep throwing resources at the ambo at the bottom of the cliff like we continually do, or we could start looking at prevention.
The problem with prevention is that it’s not measurable and funders and providers are not going to throw money where it can’t be measured.
I have a theory, based on nothing else but lived experience.
Mental health is by nature ‘holistic’ (Ma¯ ori understand this, yet Pa¯ keha¯ s seem to have lost their deep wisdom around this) and while we can continue to look externally at what isn’t working, there is one major factor that most won’t consider and that is our own personal response to it. What say if depression and anxiety (while it can eventually effect the brain) doesn’t start off like that? We don’t ‘wake’ up one day depressed, I don’t believe.
It has more than likely been chipping away for some time, it’s just we havn’t been awake to the fact because our self destructive thoughts have been subtly becoming ‘the norm’ and up until something happens there has been no reason to challenge it. Why fix what’s not broke attitude. What say if we just get lost and some of us so far lost we can’t get ‘back’ to ourselves?
The good news is that our brains can be rewired and not a minute goes past where we get the opportunity to change our actions which in turn can change our responses, which can change our thinking and beliefs.
However, changing from the inside out doesn’t happen in five minutes, it takes strategy focus and practice. Along with keeping vital organs functioning, our brains are also programmed for meaning making.
Without this we would not be making any decisions. So where do we start? We STOP and ask ourselves about our own meaning making and what makes us feel good and what doesn’t. Our strong emotions are certainly a clue and a link to our deeper beliefs.
Is it any wonder then that people need to mask some powerful emotions with substances and other addictions or consider suicide as an only option? I believe until we start having conversations about what deeply connects us as human beings that addictions and suicide will keep increasing.
There is no amount of asset accumulation, drug, nor connection to any person on this planet that is powerful enough to mask ourselves for ever. While they might be a great short term solution, our ‘true’ selves will keep trying to surface and will be chomping away at our heels. A lot of people are acutely aware of what’s missing in their lives, but less are prepared to take some action to shift their thinking. I found my help through learning about neuro science and taking responsibility for the fact that I am the owner and creator of my own mind, I am the master of my own mind and no longer a victim of it.
While we didn’t have a choice as children, as adults we certainly do now. Even though some thoughts and beliefs are deeply embedded, it is NOT impossible to create new neural pathways and often medication can help in providing the space to create new pathways. Science can prove this over and over. Our brain does not know the difference with what’s ‘real’ and what isn’t, because whatever we think is true, and becomes more of a reality when we think it enough times. That’s the law of neuro science.
What a gift to discover that we are not as powerless as we have been led to believe, and we actually get to choose our own mind to a bigger extent than we thought possible. It’s time to stop running around in circles and start showing up. While it might have been the fault of others who lead us to have our thoughts and beliefs, it is OUR responsibility to manage those thoughts — rightly or wrongly. Believing that we are not able to ‘heal’ until others give us something we desperately seek can keep us locked in the victim cycle.
To start creating our ideal lives we have to not be afraid to seek outside what we have been conditioned to. We are all more than our past if we believe we are.
No body is ‘broken’ unless they believe they are. If we continue to believe that our happiness is dependent outside of us then we are weakened.
I’m running workshops for people in November and in the New Year for individuals or couples who are ready for mental freedom.
Contact me to secure your space. Carla. www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
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■ WHERE TO GET HELP: If you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, phone the police immediately on 111.
LIFELINE: ph 0800 543 354 (available 24/7). SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: ph 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO), available 24/7. YOUTHLINE: ph 0800 376 633.
NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7).
KIDSLINE: ph 0800 543 754 (available 24/7). WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm). DEPRESSION HELPLINE: ph 0800 111 757.