A date with Sarah-Kate; Kate’s home truths
Sarah-Kate falls for a Thor-geous movie hunk
Until our very own Taika Waititi directed a movie about him, I can’t say I’d ever really noticed Thor, the god of thunder. But now I’ve actually seen Thor:Ragnarok, I am astonished that I have spent so many years missing out on Chris Hemsworth, the actor who plays him.
He’s gorgeous. And tall. And funny. And well-built. I know it’s not right to objectify men, but if you were allowed to, he’d definitely be the one to go for. Oh, and his voice! He has that lovely deep, laid-back thing going on that Heath Ledger had too. You could actually love Chris without even looking at him, which I’m sure makes up for a little bit of the objectifying.
And what about his muscles? He has so many in all sorts of different places.
I confess, with quite so much to be thrilled about before me on the big screen, the Ginger – who had brought me to the movies in the first place – started to feel left out.
“Oh, look at all those lumps!” he said disparagingly when Thor ripped his kit off. “He’s not all round and smooth like me.”
How I laughed. No. He’s not. Anyway, what happens in Thor:Ragnarok is, um, well, there’s this god called Thor, who is a very nice colour and has twinkly blue eyes, and – ooh, I know, someone cuts his hair off! And he has a magic hammer that actually looks a bit silly, but can sort of do magic tricks until it meets Cate Blanchett in a skin-tight suit looking like she needs a lot of pizza. She’s mean. She crushes it. And she has really scary hair, like a lot of antlers but only black and pointy.
Anyway, the Hulk, who I don’t fancy, is also in the movie, but I do like Mark Ruffalo who’s the Hulk’s literal better half. And Tom Hiddleston, who used to go out with Taylor Swift, is in there too, but I can’t remember what for and he’s not such a good colour and if he has any muscles, you never see them. And if you could, I wouldn’t want to. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.
Sorry, Tom. I’m Team Chris. Quite badly. So badly, in fact, that in the bits that Chris wasn’t in, I may have fallen asleep every now and then, which either explains why I missed the plot or that there wasn’t much of a one to begin with. Maybe you needed to have seen Thor one and two to fully get the gist, but luckily not knowing what was happening or why didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the whole fabulous spectacle at all. Nothing could.
Oh, except the Ginger who, in a fit of pique, also decided to catch a few zeds and bring the house down with his snoring. Honestly, it drowned out whole planets being blown to smithereens.
Yes, it turns out my smooth, round husband is the real god of thunder. The embarrassment! Chris would never do that. But he may not make fish tacos and mix margaritas like the one I’ve got at home. Hmmm.