ALL THE RAGE
Sarah-Kate’s movement for more peaceful driving
In the olden days, I used to quite like going back to school after the summer holidays. I think it had something to do with stationery. I looove stationery. But now going back to school means only one thing – a return of the nightmare that clouds my days and haunts my nights: traffic.
Where I live, which is about 40 minutes (on a good run) out of Auckland, the traffic has gotten heavier and heavier in the years since we moved here. No sooner does a kink get ironed out of the motorway to speed things up than another suburb sprouts up, pouring more cars out onto the same roads.
For a good part of last year, we had a roundabout being put in at our nearest big intersection. I swear I spent half my life slowing for road works. I was on first-name terms with the stop-go people. I thanked myself for my patience on a half-hourly basis. But no sooner did our roundabout become operational than another, bigger one down the road needed redoing. My 40minute trip into town could easily turn into a 90-minute one and that’s outside of rush hour. Or rush hours.
For a few glorious weeks over the Christmas and New Year period, this tedious problem goes away. There are no hold-ups. No-one’s trying to get anywhere in a hurry. I don’t need to factor in an extra hour at either end of the day to get where I’m going. Bliss. And then the school bell rings and we’re off again. For a bit. Then we slow down. Then we stop. Then we’re off again. Then we stop. You get the picture.
Does anybody else remember watching The WonderfulWorldofDisney on Sunday night while you ate your eggs and soldiers? Other little girls may have identified more with princesses or fairies, but that big old doofus dog (he is a dog, right?) Goofy rang a bell with me.
I still remember so clearly the Disney short MotorMania, where mild-mannered Goofy plays Mr Walker, a sweetheart of a guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly until he gets behind the wheel of his automobile. Then his whole personality changes and he becomes an uncontrollably nasty road hog called Mr Wheeler.
Mr Wheeler throws temper tantrums when he gets a red light, drags everyone off when he gets green, is an aggressive parker, a fast-lane hogger, a shouter, a swearer and a hater. Had the cartoon not been made in 1950, he would most definitely have been a texter. Yep, Walt Disney basically invented road rage.
Well, I’ve been victim of the Mr Wheelers of the world on several occasions, but worse, by the end of last year, I was turning into one. There was definitely a gesticulation-outthe-window (mine) that resulted in a beer can being flung at me (his). But I don’t want to play that game, so henceforth, as the traffic builds, I promise to keep my gesticulations to myself, breathe deeply when the Mr Wheelers of the world offend and channel my inner Snow White. Drive nicely, everyone!