Pollyism of the week

I’m often inspired to write while sitting on flights between Wellington and Auckland. I invariably forget headphones – ironic considering they’re an essential tool of my trade – and after flicking through the in-flight magazine, I remember I should have brought Woman’s Day along.

But one of the things I enjoy doing on a flight is observing behaviour. It’s both intriguing and infuriating at times. Sometimes I sit next to a couple of people who work together and listen in, trying to suss out where they work or what they do based on their conversation.

I’m awful at this game. Most people talk about plans and strategies, but the conversation is so generic, they could be union reps or pharmaceutical marketing teams. You hear words like “strategy” and “solutions”, and their go-to plans. In my life, it would seem I have no strategy, solution or go-to plan. I tend to tumble and trip through life like a toddler in a country garden.

Observing people on a plane is a true study of our middle and upper economic earners. I can always tell when someone is an infrequent flyer, a newbie having a treat or going on a special holiday. They are happy, friendly, polite, and slightly confused about stowing and removing their hand luggage.

What does bamboozle me is how often people who appear to be well-dressed, well-versed in corporate speak and well-appointed, have somewhere along the way lost their manners. Did they leave them in their car at the airport? How do you not say “please” and “thank you” when someone is kindly offering you a coffee and double-chocolate biscuit? I’d argue it’s harder not to say “thank you” at that moment.

Those words are so hammered into my vocab, I would have to remember to consciously remove them from my responses – and that would take some serious brain power.

What is even stranger in a way is people who choose to say either “please” or “thank you”, but not both. It’s like if they use both, they give away all their power.

So a flight attendant might say, “Would you like something to drink?” and one of these half-polite people would reply, “I’ll have a black tea and water.” Cringe! Note the lack of “please”.Then, on receiving their beverages, they’ll say “thank you”. Wait! What’s with a “thank you” and no “please”? That’s just so weird to me.

Really, I suppose what this whole rave proves to me is that on future flights, I really do need to remember earbuds and my latest copy of Woman’s Day.

PS: Air New Zealand flight crew, you’re still doing a stellar job. How you don’t drop coffee on people’s heads accidentally-on-purpose I’ll never know. You are much, much better and more balanced than I will ever be. Great job, you guys! I see you. I know how hard you work, you sky heroes.