Jodie Molloy answers your most intimate questions LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX
QMy
16-year-old daughter is obsessed with getting breast implants. I feel like I’ve failed her as a parent, both on a physical and emotional front. How can she possibly want to look like that? ●● Worried Mum, Auckland
AFirstly,
you haven’t failed on any front. Everybody is born how they are – whatever is “perfect” is in the eye of the beholder. We know this to be true because not all of us love the Kardashian butt or find Mona Lisa’s face to be perfect. What we experience, more now than ever, are trends that are symptomatic of generations. For example, I grew up wanting a flat chest like Kate Moss and now girls your daughter’s age often covet buttocks like a Goodyear tyre. Basically, we desire to be the paragons of beauty that popular culture feeds to us. Rightly or wrongly, your daughter wants to alter her looks – well, let that be on her own watch. As a mother, all you can do is reiterate her perfection and your opinion that she’s perhaps too young to be contemplating any form of radical surgery. Get some books out of the library and show her art through the ages, pointing out that what is thought of as incredible today might not be in 40 years. Making your daughter feel guilty or a failure for feeling how she does is also wrong and disregards the influences around her. Talk to her, get her to talk to older friends, aunts or anyone else who’s open about being a woman and how your relationship to your body changes significantly over time. Q My husband has been having some erection issues and we are looking for solutions. My best friend swears by a “ring” that she and her partner use. Are these safe? And which one should I consider?
●● Ring-a-ding, Greymouth
It’s
perfectly common for men suffering different levels of erectile dysfunction to try these rings. Some men at the more extreme end of the spectrum use a vacuum pump, then slide a ring onto the base of the penis. Some people just enjoy the engorgement aspect, however, they are usually used to help maintain an erection and also possibly provide pleasure beyond orgasm. There are many different variants of this ring. Some vibrate and there are others that also have bullet-shaped vibrators attached, which are designed to provide clitoral stimulation for you at the same time. I recommend trying a costeffective option to see if it works for him – you can find many options at peachesandcream.co.nz. If you both find this helpful, you can consider expanding your horizons from there. It’s important to note, however, that men who have cardiovascular issues or who take blood thinners shouldn’t use these, so get your husband to check in with his GP to make sure he has a clean bill of health first.