Editor’s letter

There’s nothing like nesting with a newborn baby, short days and long nights snuggling up with a warm, tiny cherub who makes your heart big enough to burst.

I remember it and instantly well up. I can flashback to a moment 15 years ago when I locked eyes with tiny Cleo as she nestled in my bed in Melbourne. And I can recall the first night after Darcy was born at Auckland City Hospital, when I was finally alone with my beautiful wee boy lying asleep on my chest. I love little babies.

But with both of mine, I returned to work quickly. With Cleo it was eight weeks and Darcy five months. I don’t regret it. I’ve always loved my work intensely and was the main breadwinner – and my husband was happy to be a stay-at-home dad.

But it was tough at times. I’d rush home after a long day at the office and have Cleo breastfeeding on one side and a breast pump on the other – it was literally draining! I breastfed both kids for a year because I treasured that special bond.

Beyond work, my life was totally devoted to my babies. My social life ground to a halt because every waking minute I wasn’t at the office, I wanted my children close and all to myself. I smothered them with love and attention.

I was stoic about returning to work, and if truth be told, I never really wanted to stop. I think I proved to colleagues, friends and family – and most importantly to my children – that you can have a career and kids. Certainly, my mother did the same.

But it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt sometimes. To be honest, it got harder as they got older. When the run-ups to the door started, when the hugs grew longer in the morning and as my daughter became a teen with all the emotions that brought.

So it’s with understanding that I chatted to PM Jacinda Ardern (page 14) about her return to work after maternity leave. She’s ready to go back and she’s got an important job to do. But Jacinda doesn’t pretend it’s easy and I respect her for that. I’m sure many of you mums will sympathise.