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Cancer didn’t stop Jo-Lea’s family dream
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The simple pleasure of holding her smiley, dark-haired baby girl Mirrah to her chest is a gift Jo-Lea Lawley scarcely dared to believe would ever happen.
“This baby is a miracle and she’s all ours,” says Jo-Lea, 22, kissing the top of her daughter’s head and smiling across at her partner Rhys Dahm, 24.
For the young Wellington couple, first-time parenthood has been sheer joy, but it follows a long and harrowing journey involving cancer, a high-risk pregnancy, and the dramatic birth of wee Mirrah at just 31 weeks and six days gestation.
Her name, pronounced “mirror”, is a hybrid of “miracle” and “mirror” because her parents say she’s a reflection of both of them.
“Mirrah’s birth has brought up emotions I didn’t even know existed,” shares Rhys. “It’s incredible to meet your baby for the first time, but we also feared more than once we were going to lose her.”
Although Mirrah arrived into the world fighting for her life and weighing a fragile 1567g, six months on, the engaging girl has outgrown her premature baby clothes and now weighs more than five kilos.
“We are literally obsessed with this little girl,” smiles Jo-Lea as she runs a finger across her daughter’s cheek. “Life is incredible and we feel so blessed.”
Cripplingpain
Yet in 2015, Jo-Lea was battling to survive and any hope of one day becoming a mother looked slim. She’d been diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer – a rare germ cell tumour known as dysgerminoma, which affects 0.05% of the female population aged between 20 and 30. Cruelly, it can mimic the hallmarks of pregnancy and in Jo-Lea’s case, it meant the hormones she produced returned several positive pregnancy tests.
As Jo-Lea’s “baby bump” grew, she began to suffer crippling stomach pains and was admitted to Waikato Hospital. Critically ill, the teen was at first admitted to the maternity ward, but following tests and scans, she was moved to the oncology ward. What doctors at first believed was a baby growing inside Jo-Lea was in fact a 20cm tumour.
Surgery saved the young woman’s life, but she lost her left ovary. Then Jo-Lea, barely out of her teens, was told by doctors the chemotherapy that would no doubt save her life would leave her unlikely to ever become a mum.
“I’ve always wanted kids, but I knew I had to let it go because I had escaped with my life – and for that, I was incredibly thankful.”
Jo-Lea’s first two years after her cancer diagnosis were tough – she split from her previous partner, dropped out of her polytechnic media art course and suffered a blow when her valuable tattoo equipment was stolen. Although she tried hard to push it to the back of her mind, Jo-Lea was struggling with the grief she was unlikely to bear children.
“I knew I had to let the dream of having a baby go, but I couldn’t,” recalls Jo-Lea, who comes from a big family and has been a second mum to her youngest brother DeJay, now aged seven, who has Down syndrome.
“Every time I saw a pregnant woman or someone with a baby, I’d think, ‘That sucks,’ and look away.”
However, last year signalled a fresh start when Jo-Lea met her partner. “Rhys is so positive – he’s always happy. We both love travelling
around New Zealand and just enjoying life,” tells Jo-Lea.
But the early arrival of Mirrah in March h this year was a nail-biting ng event. After a high-risk pregnancy, gnancy, Jo-Lea was less than 32 2 weeks on when she woke e at night to pains and spotting. “By By the next morning, I couldn't dn't feel her kicking and I just st knew something wasn't n't right.”
At Wellington n Hospital, doctors gave her er a steroid shot to strengthen Mirrah's lungs, but by the next day, y, concerns about the baby's heart t rate meant she was delivered via emergency Caesarean section. ion.
“It was so scary,” ary,” recalls Jo-Lea. “Even after fter she was born, there e was no noise and no crying, rying, which freaked me out. All I saw was the he top of her head with h a full head of black ck hair and then she was taken away.”
Mirrah spent t the next six weeks in the hospital's neonatal unit, with the young couple staying nearby at Ronald McDonald House. “I had no idea babies could be so small – she looked so fragile connected to the breathing machine and all the wires,” says Jo-Lea.
But six months on from her dramatic arrival into the world, Mirrah is meeting all her milestones, and she continues to delight Jo-Lea and Rhys with her smiles. Although becoming parents has put a stop to the couple's wanderlust lifestyle, they are looking forward to a time when Mirrah is old enough for them to hit the road as a family in their pop-top caravan.
“We are free spirits,” says Jo-Lea. “We love new experiences and travel, and we can't wait to share that with Mirrah.”