‘Hey, family. We’re going to declutter, darlings!’

really mean much – you know you want to be better, but you’re not 100% on board. It depends on the weather and how much ham is left. No, mesamis, I’m going to stage a New Year’s revolution and it will be huge.

Armed with a large flag and wearing a ridiculous hat, I shall march down the hall of the house singing songs from LesMisérables (badly), and I shall build a barricade with tables and chairs, and a ridiculous number of unnecessary cushions in the family room, and I shall yell orders at everyone.

It will be a declutter revolution, and on my giant flag will be a picture of an empty room and a broom. I’ll make a large notice of said revolution, then burn it around the edges and wash it with tea to make it look like an authentic revolutionary poster (just in the house a message on Facebook Messenger, saying, “Hey, family. In 2019, we’re going to declutter, my darlings!”

Three days later, I’d get messages back with laughing emojis and my resolution would be undone. However, if I have the flags, barricades, hats and pirate posters, then I will surely terrify my family into joining the revolution.

Feel free to join me in revolutions over resolutions because everyone needs to march, brandish flags and build chair-and-table barricades. Just add a smattering of French or at least a bad French accent, then sing a few stirring show tunes to get families off their bums and into a new year! Vivelarévolution!