OH, BROTHERS!

Why even ‘meanie’ siblings get Kate’s vote

There’s something lovely about siblings and I say this because I notice a wee trend creeping back in among my younger friends to opt for larger families again. It used to be that for working parents struggling to make their way in the world, two kids felt like plenty, one apiece, easy to travel with and easy to manage.

As one of three kids, I always wanted three – it felt like a “proper” family to me. But as my three got older and busier, and we blended our family to a total of five kids, I began sending out warning signals suggesting that the breeders amongst us maybe think about a cosy twosome when it comes to kids.

Obviously, it’s not a choice for everybody and I absolutely acknowledge how hard it is for some people to even have one child, so don’t get me wrong here, I’m not forgetting these people. I am merely talking about the ones who are having kids and are able to keep reproducing – at sometimes an alarming rate.

I used to think when times were busy and I was insanely tired that two kids would be perfect. But here’s the thing about siblings – love them or loathe them, they’re there for life. They’ll always have your back, whether you think it at times or not. You’ll always be able to pick up where you left off with them. You’ll always have your parents, your childhood and your gene pool in common.

I was telling my daughter this the other day when she was sulkily suggesting we banish her brothers to another country. They were annoying her as usual and “being mean”.

I tried to console her with stories of my brother. How awful he’d been to my sister and I, how we’d complained to Mum on a regular basis that he was “ruining our lives” and how I could never imagine a time when he’d be nice to us. But then, boom, something happened (probably puberty), and we all grew up and realised that in a sibling, you have an instant friend – someone to attend parties with, someone to talk to, someone to confide in and someone who gets it.

My daughter wasn’t buying this, though. The advantages of having brothers was still a bridge too far for her.

But I was heartened the other day. After a run of hectic weeks with the older kids all out either working or with friends doing other stuff, we suddenly had everyone home at once for the first time in a while to have dinner together. It’s a rare treat in a big, busy family.

My daughter set the table and went to great lengths to make everything lovely. She puffed her chest up as she glanced around at everybody chatting and eating their dinner. She leaned over to me and said, “Isn’t it nice to have everyone here all together, Mum?” “It sure is,” I replied. I think she’s cottoning on to the benefit of siblings.