A date with Sarah-Kate; Kate’s home truths

Wills and Harry need a happy ending,

I’m hoping like crazy that there’s no truth in the rumour that the Duchesses Kate and Meghan are bitter foes. However, my track record in predicting these things is woefully poor. I argued vociferously against any trouble in Charles and Diana’s marriage, and was proven spectacularly wrong. I thought Fergie and Prince Andrew were lifers. I once bet a UK celebrity gossip columnist that George Michael was not gay.

The real truth is that those in the know do often let their tongues wag, which is why where there’s smoke there’s often fire.

But what a shame if these two commoners can’t get on for the sake of their husbands and children, if not the royal family at large. Can’t the Queen get them all together over tea and cakes, and do a bit of shouting about pulling your head in and getting on for the greater good?

Like any fan of Diana’s who can remember those boys walking along behind their mother’s coffin, I feel like Wills and Harry have had enough heartache. They’ve both gone for women who clearly adore them, so shouldn’t their wives be doing everything they can to keep the brothers as close as they’ve needed to be to get this far?

And if it’s not the wives who are fighting, as some suggest – although it makes juicier headlines of which I am, of course, a huge fan – but the two brothers who are no longer seeing eye to eye, then Prince Philip should line them up on the concourse outside Buckingham Palace and chase them in one of his cars until they promise to have each other’s backs for eternity.

I recall Diana and Fergie facing the same rumour mill back in their day, often being pitted against each other in the public eye, which was particularly unfortunate for Fergie who, in the fashion stakes at least, couldn’t really hold a candle. Not that it’s all about fashion but, psssst, a lot of it’s about fashion.

But unlike Kate and Meghan – who were brought up literally worlds apart – Diana and Fergie had more in common to begin with, both coming from posh broken families used to hob-nobbing with royals. Actually, they were distant cousins and already good friends before they nabbed their princes.

Their eventual falling out, which came years after the shining armour wore off each of their knights, was allegedly caused by Fergie writing in her autobiography that she got veruccas from shoes Diana had given her. Diana never spoke to her again, flushing their friendship down the gurgler over a wart.

Kate’s taller than Meghan, so her shoes are probably too big to ever cause such a rift. And when Meghan’s baby arrives, hopefully all jousting sticks will be set aside so these two families can enjoy a lifetime of backyard barbecues full of cousins running about in their knickerbockers.

Please God, can there be just one fairytale that actually works out? And if it’s not going to be them, can it be Brad and Charlize?