Pollyism of the week
Sensible Polly knows there is a plan in place. She even kind of knows the person who devised it. “The Plan” being to make sure supermarkets stay stocked during a crisis or event. So then, how does sensible Polly end up buying 40kg of milk powder on an expensive, ridiculous whim? Last week sensible Polly left the building and weirdo Polly entered the supermarket.
In times of crisis, I generally behave rationally, and can be relied on to be sensible, calm and the bringer of balance and good sense. So what the heck happened as I started my shop like an intelligent human?
I’ve always enjoyed going into bulk stores – those specialist supermarkets that sell to wholesalers and us regular folk. It’s not about the money-saving or convenience. I like them because I can pick up a can of fruit salad bigger than my head, smile and say inside my fairly normal head, “Wow! This can of fruit salad is bigger than my head!”
It’s one of the only times I feel petite, like a miniature in Gulliver’sTravels. FYI,
I also like being classed as a “small” or “medium” at City Chic.
Strolling casually with my little trolley through the flour and spices aisle, I noticed a few people who didn’t look like chefs or dairy owners. Like me, they were making risky judgements, buying large bags of flour, sugar and oats. I looked at them slightly puzzled – and then the penny dropped. They were Doomsday Preppers!
I was slightly alarmed at the realisation people were panic buying and somehow I felt the need to buy a large tub of green curry paste. I’m talking enough to cater for a small wedding, and an equally large tub of rock salt.
After a few aisles, my trolley was too small and I realised I’d have to make two trips. I knew this wasn’t normal behaviour and started to sweat. I felt my make-up sliding off my face and my head feeling itchy. I’d become a shopping zombie on the verge of panic buying.
I took my ridiculous groceries and catering supplies to my car, then decided to return for milk powder. I’d just get a kilo, then my supply of coffee and scones would be secure. Wrong!
Back in Panic Land, I was horrified to see that the only milk available was tinned evaporated milk (I’ve never known what the heck to do with that) and 40kg bags of milk powder. So with the help of a bewildered laughing Frenchman, I locked and loaded my 20-year supply of milk. What a crazy woman. It was so silly and so expensive.
Warning: Don’t panic and don’t buy out of fear. But don’t worry, if we do run out of milk, I’ll be able to hook you up for a very, very, very long time. Scones anyone?