Postpartum depression isn’t just in women’s heads

Alternatively, find an older relative to live in the house as an antidote to that negative vibe.

Understand that your new status means different things to many people. From your family to your friends to your colleagues, everyone handles your status in a unique way. Now the problem may be how you deal with how they handle it. Some family members begin to conveniently forget to send you the ashoebi and ‘you should not complain’ because then you will confirming it’s your nagging that got you to this status in the first place. Some friends begin to forget to return your missed calls. You know how busy married women are - children, home, almighty husband, you just wouldn’t understand how onerous a task it is. Besides, now you are a potential threat!

Binta told me she lost her best friend when the latter’s husband, pretending to visit the former’s colleague, kept visiting her office. She later found out he had lied to many that he had proposed to her. Someone spilled and ‘Best Friend’ came to the office and caused a huge scene; security guards had to take her out. She would hear nothing of Binta’s explanations. End of friendship.

Be prepared for the pressure to remarry and be careful with the quality of proposals you get. Sure every woman has suitors. It is interesting to see that certain women usually attract certain types of men. Conversations with all sorts of people are usually punctuated by a sigh and then “you should get married fa”. When it occurs and recurs you begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. I am telling you, nothing is wrong with you. Marriage is desired but not mandatory and when it comes, it has come. When you are eventually ready to remarry, ensure that you are doing it for the right reasons, and pray that he is too!