Is going through your child’s diary an invasion of privacy?
This segment of the paper has always preached against invasion of privacy, but when it concerns children and keeping diaries, could it be considered an invasion of privacy to go through their diaries? As parents, there is always this curiosity to find out what our children are up to. A mother of three asked a question on the minds of most parents, a few weeks ago. “Is it right for my children to have diaries and for me as a parent not to go through their diaries? My husband feels if I go through their diaries it will be considered an invasion of their privacy. Mind you, the children we are referring to here are between the ages of 10 and 14. Please what privacy am I invading as their mother?”
Amina Salihu, 39-year-old lawyer, asks “Did you say invasion of privacy when it comes to keeping an eye on what my children are involved in? No one dare tells me I am invading on the privacy of my children. As long as they live under my roof and I carter for them, I have every right to know what is happening in their lives. Until they day they get married, then they fully have their privacy. Even when they become adults but still single, I am still in charge of them. Children need constant monitoring and an open conversation between themselves and their parents. When parents don’t have an open relationship with their children, that’s when you see scenarios of them finding comfort in a diary. Invasion of privacy doesn’t extend to children.”
Bolanle Davies, 40-year-old accountant, says “At 14, we shouldn’t encourage them to keep secrets from us and find comfort in their diaries. At 14, they aren’t matured enough to handle things on their own. Reading our children’s diary isn’t an invasion of privacy but then when reading it, we should be cautious because once they realize we read their diaries, it might be the beginning of them loosing trust in us forever.”
Aisha Abubakar, 42-year-old civil servant, says “I won’t advice any parent who is trying to find out what is happening in the lives of his/her teenage children to consider any parenting skill used as invading their privacy. At the rate things are happening in the society now, any parent that doesn’t monitor his/her child will have him/her self to blame later. Have you ever tried to study the trend of those who commit suicide? They all start from being too reserved and keeping their thoughts in a dairy. They find comfort in it and are very protective of it (diary). If a child owns a diary, the best way to know what is happening in his life is to read it discretely. In as much as privacy is important, reading through their diaries will help parents understand what the children are going through that they wouldn’t share with them. Reading their diaries in a way helps parents know how to help, caution and direct them in whatever problems they are facing in life. Reading their diaries could be good or bad; if caught it could put a strain on the parent/child relationship but if not it could be an avenue to be best of friends with your child. The bottom line is that when it comes to children, there is nothing like invasion of privacy.”