Why I can’t have a boyfriend –Ondo Regent
Ambassador Adekemi Omorinbola, the Asin of Oka Akoko in Ondo State, is the last female child of her family. She became a regent at the age of 16 and is presently a 200 level Student of Psychology at the Ekiti State University. In this interview, she expla
The primary challenge I had when I got to the throne was how to relate with people, especially the elders. You know being a young lady, it was difficult to understand the elderly people. But I had to get to their level. And again, you know as a young girl who was brought up in the palace, I was brought up to respect the elderly. It gets me annoyed to see old people coming to the palace and prostrating before me and an old woman kneeling down for me. And to myself, I cannot kneel down for people again, even older people. But I later understood they are not kneeling down for me personally but are doing so because of the throne responsibility I am carrying. But now, I am used to it. Another challenge is that I cannot go out with my friends anymore. I can’t play with every kind of people again. I have to carefully select my friends. I have to mingle with old men and women rather than my peers. You know those things are not that easy at my age. Though, I am used to the elderly but it is not that easy.
Yes, you know traditionally, they have to consult the oracle before any step after the demise of a king. And whoever the oracle choses would become the regent. In some traditions, they prefer the first female child of the late king to become the regent. But in our own tradition and custom, they have to consult the oracle before choosing the regent. They cannot choose just anybody to become a regent. So, I was chosen by the oracle. I think they are trying but
In the area of infrastructure. For instance, in my town, it is worrisome to know that there is a road linking Abuja from the southwestern part of the country. The road is a dead trap. The road also links my shrine where we pray to our ancestors during festivals. You can imagine going to such area during the festival. Most of the time the area would be smelling of remains of human beings because accidents usually happen in that place. The road needs urgent attention. Accidents happen in that place every day. At times, the road would get blocked for two or three days, to the extent that there won’t be movement in the town. If you are going to any part of that axis, you have to trek. Also, another road linking Ayegunle down to my place and Ikun Akoko is bad. Government should do something. Two days ago, we commissioned a police divisional office in my town. The road linking the place to my area is terrible and the community is very big. It is not a small town. We need government’s support. Also, when you visit our schools, all the structures have collapsed. We need government to build both primary and secondary schools for us.
Most of the secondary schools are community based efforts. They were not built by the government. Even the police station I mentioned earlier was built by the community, not the government. All these are government’s responsibility but we are the ones doing them. In terms of water, we are lagging behind and we need their presence. As part of tradition,
I am not bothered at all. Even if I were not a regent, I didn’t plan to get married not until I finished my university education. Despite the fact that I am a regent, I am still a student. So, the issue of pregnancy or marriage is none of my concern for now because I know when it is time, everything will come in normal way. When I get my first degree, then I can talk of getting married. Maybe after getting married and having children, I can talk of furthering my education to masters and PhD level.
Yes. In the heritage forum where we have many kings, we have a traditional ruler who is 73 years old. He just graduated from Law School last week. So, such old man is the source of motivation. If such a man could go back to school, what is my problem as a young lady?
They feel somehow most of the time but left to me, I can cope very well. Most of them are not Yorubas and those who are Yorubas among them are not brought up with our culture. Most of them grew up in Lagos and they don’t know much about culture. So, we only meet in school. We chat on phone and when I am going to school, they reserve my seat and we move around in school. They don’t visit me at home but if at all there is need for that, maybe once in a while.
I don’t really have social life like that because even if I want to socialize, it is usually with kings and regents. My social life is somehow restricted. Not just certain things but to so many things. A lot of things
As a regent, I cannot dress the way I want. I can’t dress like a female but always appear like a man. You know most of the time when I dress at school, most people who do not know our tradition would say, oh! I love your dress. Some may even ask if the day was a cultural day. Some would even ask if I was a Theatre Art student. Also, I don’t have as many friends as I want. Even those who are my friends are just casual friends. They are not close to me because of the throne. I cannot move out the way I like. I can’t eat outside the way I wish even if I am hungry because my culture does not permit seeing the mouth of the king while eating. So, even if I am hungry, I have to endure till I get home. I cannot open my hair. I have to cover it all the time. There are some hair styles I may like to do but I won’t be able to do them because of my cap. I cannot have a boyfriend. And many other things like that but I don’t have a choice because it is to promote our culture and tradition.
I see my education as my priority because the position of a regent is temporary and even for those that it is permanent, they still go to school. I dedicate more time for my education than any other thing. And to my lecturers, when most of them see me with my white cap, they would ask if I am an alhaja. And before you know it, the whole class would echo no! no! no! she is a Kabiyesi. And at times, you would hear the lecturer saying, ‘Kabiyesi ooooo’. It’s embarrassing but I don’t have a choice.
There are some hair styles I may like to do but I won’t be able to do them because of my cap. I cannot have a boyfriend. And many other things like that but I don’t have a choice because it is to promote our culture and tradition
With latest technologies, I am coping. Even if we cannot talk one on one, we can chat and communicate. We have some group chats for the whole class where we discuss different topics. We have one of the class members who can give us tutorial online and study together online even if they cannot come close to me. Hummmm...do I really have male friends? I am not sure.