Curtailing rising spate of women killing family members
Recently, cases of women killing their spouses, stepchildren and even rivals have taken a different dimension as most carry out this beastly act in the most inhumane way ever.
Most psychologists have argued that these women have underlying unresolved psychological issues caused by emotional challenges. Womanhood takes a look at how some of these issues can be resolved and curbed, especially for women who face such a challenge. How should they deal with this?
Adesola Abidemi, 40-year-old pharmacist, says “This is a very important topic. As far as I am concerned and in my experience, the biggest problem is that majority of these women don’t even accept that they have mental issues caused by emotional challenges. How then can they get it resolved if they don’t accept the problem exists in the first place? Most women are in complete denial and keep living in the illusion that it isn’t real. When these issues aren’t resolved, there is no way the relationship they are involved in can be improved as their excuse will always be ‘this is who I am, so accept me this way or move on’. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement no matter what.” Victor Kenneth, 35-year-old biologist, says “Women turned themselves into monsters. Men face challenges too; in fact, men face worse challenges because if you ask women about women you will realize that they themselves can’t withstand themselves. Women must learn how to take responsibility for their lives and actions and stop the blame game.”
Safiya Bello, 40-year-old teacher, believes we all have the power to prevent emotional problems as she says, “Emotional problems happen when you have expectations of people around you. Women put themselves in such situations and suffer the consequences at the end. No matter what someone does or promises you, assume things can change at any time and as such prepare your mind to withstand the impact. People who apply this don’t go through emotional torments in life and suffer no psychological impact. Don’t expect so much from people and remember change is constant. I feel nobody owes me anything and so if you treat me nicely, I’m grateful, if you hurt me, it’s your loss and not mine.”
Aisha Saidu, 43-year-old civil servant, says, “I would like to believe we all can deal with this, however, it looks unlikely because women believe they are entitled. Most Ladies are passive and only become active when it’s time to be confrontational. Why does a lady think the only time she is loved is when she’s being showered with gifts, driven around town in big cars or given money? Some women are the architects of their own emotional trauma. Some don’t even know what they want in life. Misplaced priorities often make them act confused and clueless. If only they can channel their energies towards self-development, they will kill any form of depression or trauma that comes their way. Free yourself from your past and focus on the present and future. Above all, speak out and seek help if you need it. There’s always someone willing to help.”
Nnenna Onyejiuwa, 46-yearold entrepreneur, believes that unemployment and idleness is the underlying cause of most of these killings. “If you look at most of these killings and atrocious acts, you’d notice that most of the women, if not all of them, are jobless. An idle mind, they say, is the devil’s workshop.
“When someone is gainfully employed, you have less time for frivolities. Even if you are a roadside trader, by the time you get home, you are so tired that you don’t have time to think of harming the next person. Instead, you channel your energy to the next day’s job. But no matter how rich your husband is and you are jobless, your mind is bereft of ideas. You are always fomenting trouble instead of being a solution or offering one.”