When mothers kill, molest their husbands, children
Some residents of Diso community in Gwale Local Government Area of Kano State is yet to recover from their unbelief when news that one mother, Hauwa’u Habibu allegedly killed her two children. The children were six and two years old. Her niece, aged 10 was also injured during the attack.
This incidence is one of several cases where women had killed, maltreated their husbands, children, maids or children left in their care. The trend has been generating concern among Nigerians. Some Nigerians that spoke to Daily Trust called for behavioural change and increased sensitisation.
Since 2018, 21 women have been reported in Nigerian media to have allegedly killed their husbands. Also, women have been reported to be among some major abusers of children. There are media reports of several women assaulting their own babies, maids, and children left in their care.
Among the reported cases, the death of their husbands occurred due to domestic violence, infidelity over an inability to finance daughter’s birthday and trying to have sexual intercourse forcefully.
An Abuja resident, Mojisola Aladewura described the trend contradictory “because women are known for their care and love. There is an indescribable attachment they have with their children for them to have conceived them so when such a woman that should care for her husband and children now turn to harm them then we all need to rise and get to the root of it.”
She said regardless of their justification or reasons to which they acted the mental state of most women maltreating their maids or harm their relatives should be evaluated.
Some of the women reported in the media allegedly killed their husbands for receiving a phone call from a strange woman, chatting with his girlfriend. A woman allegedly killed her husband for sending her packing for leaving the house without his consent; one killed her husband for her to be with her former husband. Another case was of a woman that killed her husband for attempting to have sexual intercourse with her without her consent.
On the molestation front, an eight-year-old was bathed with hot water for eating baby formula in Anambra State while mother killed her own two children. A boy was also beaten to death by his stepmother in Kano while a seven-year-old girl sustained an injury when her aunt burnt her buttocks for defecating in her pants. Another boy, eight, also had his buttocks burnt with a hot iron by his aunt over N50 groundnut in River State.
The Executive Director, Youth and Women Initiative, Mrs. Ijeoma Nnaji said in addressing this menace, “we must first understand that in Africa and Nigeria included, we live in a patriarchal society where men are seen as superior to women in society. So many things have changed in this technological age that men do not understand and many still treat their wives and women in a derogatory manner and it is affecting some of these women.”
She said some women in today’s society have gone digital and they bottle up aggression and that is why they are behaving the way they do add that no woman in her right senses will kill her own child or husband but they do because of psychological trauma they probably went though.
She said, “Women don’t need to take the law into their hands by committing murder but some have been going through so much pressure, and on hearing the husband is taking another wife, they act abnormally.”
Mrs. Nnaji said to curb these increasing cases of violence, behavioural change is needed and men must be involved because they are the custodian of culture.
She said, “If men are involved, it will work. Lack of men’s involvement would help the problems linger. They also need to support their wives and not put too much pressure on them.”
Another woman and Child advocate with Save the Child Initiative Nigeria, Abuja, Aroh Silverleen Churchill said the increasing recorded cases of domestic violence have led some women to kill their spouses is as a result of a couple not opening up to each other and lack of trust.
Aroh said many women are depressed and have no one to talk to while many of them have taken solace in social media which cannot offer meaningful solutions to their problems.
She also said that Nigeria does not have a strong system that supports women psychologically and that is why when they are depressed, they have nowhere to go to and some of them take laws into their hands.
“Those that get involved in such murder cases don’t intend to do so but they do out of rage and anger they couldn’t control and that is why they fall victim.”
Aroh advised that such women in a depression as a result of challenges, they go through in their homes should go through anger management which is not spiritual but psychological adding that Governments at all levels should also put in good structures that support people psychologically.
She said, “Putting up structures, training and retraining of counsellors, giving them target and monitoring the depressed will help prevent such domestic violence better. When these structures are also in place, it will help for smooth counselling and rehabilitation of individuals.”
Aladewura said more is expected from the government in addressing this issue especially women that maltreat their maids and children. She said the harrowing occurrences put to question our societal systems which are subtly influenced by western culture.
“Before now, we all look out for children even when you do not know their mothers. No one will keep quiet and watch children being maltreated regardless of the reasons. How would you use hot iron on a child as a mother? What could make someone beat a baby to death? What sort of anger is that? We should all be concerned about the future if things continue this way unchecked,” she said.
She said any woman caught maltreating children or harming their spouse or relative should be ‘subjected to medical and spiritual screening,’ because there is more to it than meets the eye.
An Abuja resident, Philo Aban said women especially those at the grassroots should be sensitised on the best means to channelling their displeasure at anything than violence.
“If you kill someone, the person would go to rest and you will be hear suffering. I remember the case of a woman that killed her husband and she spent several years in prison. She was going from prison to court until she was sentenced to death. I do not know the position of the case but they should be enlightened about the aftermath and better way of addressing their grievances than harm people,” she said.
She urged men and all residents to encourage women because “some of us would be saying we are multitasking and not share our pains and sorrows. And it would be consuming them gradually and such could lead to violence on the slightest provocation.”
A consultant psychiatrist, Dr Ubong Etudoh said the issue is in relation to mental health and would be tackled from different aspects of mental health.
He said health, as we know, is a state of physical, mental, social, and spiritual well-being and not just the absence of disease and infirmity as defined by the World Health Organisation (WHO).
Dr Etudoh said when it comes to gender-based violence, the receiving party usually undergoes some emotional trauma adding that it could be assumed that the receiving partner would have gone through several mental health conditions.
“The commonest would be depression. When an individual is constantly being beaten up or put through some emotional trauma, there comes a time when they could not take it anymore. So, they undergo low mood, low energy, loss of interest in a previously pleasurable activity, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, suicidal or homicidal ideations, or plans. The severity of depressive symptoms can affect individual judgement and so decision making would be impaired.
“The individual can also have paranoid symptoms with auditory hallucinations that have voice commanding abilities. They may at some point act or respond to the voice command. Gender-based violence can predispose the victim to psychoactive substance (drug) use, abuse then dependence or addiction. The psychoactive substance can affect judgement also leading to homicidal tendencies. Gender-based violence can also lead to acute or post-traumatic stress disorder, and a lot of other mental health problems.”
The psychiatrist said to curb such, advocacy, early detection, and treatment using the bio-psychosocial approach are needed adding that the victim should be sent to an appropriate facility for assessment and treatment.