Why parents shouldn’t own a smartphone
Dear Nabilah,
I recently observed something strange happening in our homes these days, I noticed that children in most homes desire parental love and attention and I realized it has a lot to do with all these technological advancements, especially smartphones and social media. I’m a young mother of four children and since I experienced how distracting a smartphone can become, I ditched it and now concentrate fully on my work and family; I get myself very much involved with my children. We do everything together and I attend to all their needs with full attention and concentration. I make sure their father spends at least an hour daily with them and as such they turned out smart, confident and easy to manage.
On the other hand, everywhere I went, from the neighbours to friends and relatives homes, it seems to me most children desire for parental love and attention. Some always looking sad and dejected for no apparent reason, some make throw tantrums in order to get attention while some faze it out and go with the flow even though they may want things done differently. I have since realized that these children feel less loved and wanted by their parents. In my opinion, I would say no parent should own a smartphone except in dire circumstances, because having it is like having an extra child along with your children in terms of money spent, time and attention. Hope you will shed more light on my observation and opinion.
-Full time Mother of Four. Dear Mother of Four,
I have to say I second your opinion of parents not owning smartphones. Your observations are spot on, most children nowadays crave parental love, even though parents do a lot taking care of their children, feeding, doing house chores, schooling etc. However, that does not translate to love in the young minds of children, what does translate as love to them is quality time and quality attention, being there for them in their little moments, that’s what makes them feel loved more than anything. Unfortunately, this technological advancement takes this away from children in the sense that parents use all their spare time on their smartphones instead of investing it to connect intimately with their children. In the olden days, when mothers finished cooking and all the house chores are done, they sit down with their children to have fun through storytelling, plays and general chit chats. These days when a mother finishes cooking and doing the house chores, she sits down with and immerse herself in her smartphone, scrolling through all the social media, viewing different status and reading all these never ending sordid stories. Sometimes, even while cooking and doing chores, any little break is for checking the phone for new messages, etc. The same with fathers when they are back home from work, they avoid connecting with their children and spend their time watching television or perusing their smartphone. When parents spend more time on their gadgets and applications than on their children, it might end up affecting their emotional and psychological well-being. The best asset you can give your children is to let them feel completely loved and accepted as they’re, and children feel loved through quality time and attention not through gifts, lack of discipline and pampering. When children feel completely loved during their tender years, whatever life dishes out to them in later years, they will be able to brave it and come through unscathed. Feeling completely loved gives children, such confidence, intelligence and imbues in them good manners and righteousness. I’m talking about balanced, positive love here, like they say too much of everything is bad, likewise lavishing too much time and attention can suppress the natural abilities of a child and make them to become timid, naughty or troublesome, so balance is the keyword here.
Why do I hear masculine voice while alone in my house?
Dear Nabilah,
A few days back, I left my one-yearold baby playing in the bedroom while I went to the bathroom for some chores, I then heard some masculine voice and the baby started making some noise as if she was responding to someone. I quickly went to check, but there was no one and the door was locked. Another day I felt like someone was walking and I heard a breathing sound, I felt the vibe like there’s someone present while there’s really no one. Sometimes I notice some vision from the corner of my eyes like someone quickly passed and when I turn there would be no one there. Sometimes my baby looks behind me or above as if she is looking at someone and smiling at the person. One of my friends said it’s just my imagination, it’s all in my head while another said it’s probably some jinni trying to scare me or to possess me. What do you think is causing me this, please?
-Spooked Mother
Dear Spooked,
As for your baby, it’s normal for her to act that way, most babies smile at empty places, at the fan or the bedroom light, it’s part of their growing up. As for you, it’s probably all in your head like your friend suggested. Maybe you are anxious about leaving your baby all alone and your brain, then misattributes the thoughts in your head as happening in reality. To prevent this, keep your baby close by whenever you are doing your daily chores. As for seeing visions or shadows from the corners of your eyes, this is because our peripheral vision is produced by retinal rod cells, which are unable to detect colours and have a much lower resolution than the cone cells in our central area of vision. Seeing shadows is simply our brain trying to come up with an explanation for that lack of colours from our peripheral vision. Seeing shadows may also be caused by a detached or torn retina, which is a serious condition that needs immediate treatment or else it might lead to vision loss. Carbon monoxide poisoning caused by gas leakage at home can also cause auditory hallucinations and unexplained feelings of dread. Lastly, there are also the jinni beings that take delight in frightening people that live alone most of the time. Saying your morning and evening supplications will protect you and reciting Chapter 2 of the Holy Quran daily will send them away from your house.