Remote governance

And it came about that White made the trip to the veterinarian to look into the issue of the difficulty with answering the call of nature, especially after the second push. While he was receiving very expensive care from skilled veterinarians, he kept one eye on the farm, not handing over to his deputy Sinbad, who for the most part was content with leading praise worship session in worship of White.

As White got thoroughly examined, his farm hands made certain changes to the way grains were priced and decided that instead of forcing animals to exchange grains at a certain value, the cost of grains would be determined by market forces. White often let his farm hands make the difficult announcements while he was away, like when he increased the price of water through his farm hand Naciku. He could just not bring himself to doing the exact opposite of what he had sworn he would never do: remove subsidies on water and allow the price of grains be determined by demand and supply.

This trip was not like the last though. He really felt at home with the veterinarians. In fact, farm hands and friends made the long trip to the faraway farm where the veterinary hospital was to visit him and he sent letters to the farm from there.

“I could govern the farm from here,” White told a junior farm hand of his. “It is better here: there are veterinary doctors, there is no darkness, no wild dogs blow up water pipelines and I do not need a hundred animals to protect me here. It is great.”

Two close allies of White, both of whom had intentions of running the farm someday went to visit him. They said they were going to check on their leader and spent considerable amounts on the journey. They smiled and took photos with White and upon returning, assured the farm animals that although White looked frail and was in hospital to make his answering the call of nature less painful, he was hale and hearty. Some animals whispered that they wanted to see for themselves what state White was in, as they planned to position themselves in the event that White became too frail to lead the farm.

As White was being fixed by the veterinarians, some members from the committee of animals whose job it was to check the powers of White were also travelling outside the farm. They were put up in very comfortable animal quarters in the big farm they visited. One of them, a pig from the north of the farm, while settling in, asked for one of the helpers to bring him some water. As the animal, a lamb brought in the water, he got instantly aroused and asked the lamb to lie down for just one minute. The lamb refused and the pig grabbed the lamb and began to mount the lamb before the lamb was able to escape and report to the animals in charge of the animal quarters. A second pig and member of the committee asked at the reception if there were any female pigs in the area who would take some grains in exchange for some mounting, an act which was illegal in this large farm. As both pigs returned to the farm, the leader of the big farm they had just visited wrote a petition and asked that something be done about these committee members who instead of working were looking for other animals to mount.

In response the pigs claimed that it was not an offence to mount other animals and that no pig should be made to feel bad because of the needs imposed on it by the length of its orgasms. “There is a reason pigs need a long time to orgasm,” the first of the accused pigs said. “In fact,” the second pig added, “in our farm, mounting animals passing by is no big deal. We do it and get away with it everyday. Why should it be different just because we travelled? The animals should have just enjoyed us and showed gratitude that we were even interested in mounting them.”

And more gangs of wild dogs began organising themselves to blow up water pipes in the marshlands.

And darkness continued to cover the face of the farm.

And White’s genocidal farm hand DickTai continued to operate by killing animals who stood in his way.

And all the animals on the farm completely forgot the hundreds of bats that were massacred and buried by the genocidal Dick-Tai.

And certain animals continued to make speculations about the health of White and whether he could carry on leading the farm for three more years.

And some associates of White continued planning on how to replace White in the event that he was unable to continue leading the farm.

And White continued to receive visitors and write letters to his farm from his bed far far away.

And the worshippers of White continued to sing and chant praises to White even after he changed his mind about some policies and left them looking foolish.