How to run a Nigerian embassy abroad

The task of being the face and soul of Nigeria in countries abroad is a tough tough one. It is not easy to be a go-between for Nigerian businesses, support and negotiate for and on behalf of Nigerians, or deal with foreign governments. The job of being an ambassador or running an embassy is not one for learners. Only the best. This is why I have decided to put together a quick manual for running an embassy abroad. It also has something for Nigerians going to Nigerian embassies. The contact number You know Nigerians. If you give them your correct phone number they will call you after work hours to ask you a stupid question. They will call you to tell you they just wanted to greet you. They will call you to tell you their wife did not cook for them or their husband came home late. This is why you cannot afford to have someone always pick up the phone at the embassy. People must realize that you will not always answer the phone and this realization will lead to urban legend which will spread among Nigerians abroad and discourage all those who want to call for foolish reasons. You should not be too easy to reach.

When you finally pick up, there must be no doubt about your irritation. We are Nigerians. We prefer physical visits to this Western invention called telephones. If they are lazy and can’t come to the embassy physically, make them see their folly. Let them know from your reluctance in speaking to them that you did not come there for play. You are only picking the phone number out of courtesy. And they should be grateful for this. In many places in Nigeria, the public phone numbers do not even ring.

The embassy building is a safe haven. It means that you do not want a place that Nigerians will not be able to recognise. You do not want a place that is so different