I will fix you

Amother tortoise stared at her restless son who, irritated by its lack of speed would throw itself down hills so it would tumble down quickly. The mother tortoise tried everything to make her son sit in one place, including telling him long stories. The son eventually realized that the stories were an attempt to make it stand still and stopped coming when the mother called for a story. On this day however, the mother begged him, afraid that he would run into the wild dogs that were roaming the streets. “Today the story is short,” she said.

Ok, ok, the son said and stopped moving reluctantly. And she began. One day in a land not so far away, there was a farm. This farm was strategically located in a space where there was the right temperature and humidity and rainfall and sunshine. Apples grew. Grapes grew. Grains grew. Cows were fat and sheep were healthy. Wolves and goats roamed the farm in peace and the farm manager made sure that the wild animals had enough food to eat so that they would not have to attack fellow animals. And then the farm fell upon hard times made worse by evil manager after evil manager. Hunger and privation spread throughout the farm and made animals grow weary and angry. It became so bad that even animals not known for wildness began attacking and killing fellow animals. Rabbits were setting up ambushes and traps. Doves were carrying out aerial attacks. And sheep were poisoning the water supply. Decades passed and this old farm manager who always claimed that he was kicked out of power too early to notice what great things he had in store began asking farm animals to accept him again as farm manager. By this time, the farm had begun choosing their leaders through an animal vote. Year after year the animals refused to bring back this former farm manager who was brutal, ruling the farm with an iron fist for the few weeks that he was farm manager.

The animals grew lean and the fish in the ponds began turning up dead on the surface of the water. The grains were going rotten and animals were all becoming carnivores, feeding on each other. Then this former farm manager came back again, visiting all the despondent animals and the barren land. He appealed to them now louder: I have been begging you these twelve years to give me another chance to manage this farm not because I crave power but because I love you all. I love you but even more than that I understand you. I know all your afflictions. I feel your afflictions because I am one of you. My promise is that I will fix you. When you wake up in the morning with nothing to eat, I will fix you. When the stream you used to drink from has dried up and your throat is parched, I will fix you. When the fields you used to eat in have gone barren and you are becoming emaciated, I will fix you.

And the animals became emotional and forgot everything and made him farm manager. They told him to become their lord and master and fix them. Fix us, they screamed and opened up their bodies to reveal their ulcers and their farms to reveal dry parches of land and their rivers to reveal dry cracked earth. And all of this overwhelmed him. The ulcers especially. And he began to throw up and feel nauseated. He held on until he could hold on no longer.

But you wooed us for 12 years. You said you could smell our ulcers from miles away. You said you knew every crack in our dry river beds. You said you would fix us. You swore you would fix us. And the farm manager got angry that they were expecting so much from him and told them that it was not him who caused all of these problems

Stop, please, he said. Stop showing me so much of your ulcers. I feel like absconding because of all these ulcers. I did not know you were so wounded. I did not know your fields were so barren. I did not know your rivers were so dry.

And the animals looked at him in amazement. But you wooed us for 12 years. You said you could smell our ulcers from miles away. You said you knew every crack in our dry river beds. You said you would fix us. You swore you would fix us.

And the farm manager got angry that they were expecting so much from him and told them that it was not him who caused all of these problems. He asked them to be patient or find another farm to go live in. And he warned them to stop showing their ulcers so much in public.

The animals began grumbling, regretting that they had let him see their intimate parts. And slowly some of the animals began to apply some balm sourced from other farms and covered back their ulcers with the rags they used before. And they closed up their farms and covered up their dry river beds. But some animals who refused to believe the animal they had put their faith in had failed them kept their wounds open, crying and covering themselves in ashes, begging the farm manager to fix them.

Why are you telling me this story mum, the tortoise asked his mother. You are restless, she began. And one day, you will get what you are looking for. I hope that then, it wont be too late to go back on what you wish for.

The tortoise rolled his eyes, walked away from his mother and rolled down the hill where, unbeknown to him, wild dogs were waiting.