Uyo Church collapse as a metaphor for Nigeria (I)

The name of the church is Reigners Bible Church International Incorporation. From its name it is pretty clear that the ‘owner’ as he fondly called, Apostle Akan Weeks, intends for profits to accrue to the ‘incorporation’, and also for him to take the business to other nations - in search of foreign currency in a country obsessed with the US Dollars. Akan Weeks is an ‘Apostle’ - which means someone who ordains other pastors and is therefore above them. When the unfortunate incident happened, claiming dozens of lives at least, Akan had advertised that he was to be ‘consecrated’ and ‘enthroned’ - of course by himself - as a Bishop. The Governor, young Emmanuel Udom, was on hand to grace the occasion, and was lucky to have escaped unscathed. Many more were not so lucky. There was also a fall-out from Udom’s lucky escape. Mallam Garba Shehu had chosen the wrong word when he wrote to ‘congratulate’ the governor for making it out of the debris alive. Nigerians have since taken Garba to the cleaners for that reason. Maybe it’s the evil spirits that Abati spoke about that often troubles Garba’s pen.

The Uyo church collapse is a metaphor for what Nigeria has become. The building actually collapsed because every charlatan in Nigeria is now a pastor, or better still an Apostle, Bishop or Archbishop. The only rank of global church apparatchik that we don’t yet have in Nigeria, is the Pope. But don’t rest on your oars yet; for our people will soon start ordaining themselves as Pope; anything to command more attention, power, fear, and of course and for that reason, money. It’s all about doing the next craziest thing that no one has dared. That building collapsed because religion is now Nigeria’s surest and biggest business. It is by far better, and more enjoyable, than even politics. Politicians in Nigeria, genuflect and kowtow to religious leaders, for they are governed by fear and confusion, and so obtain their every instruction from these (mostly) conmen, many of whom are integrity challenged. The building collapsed because every church ‘owner’ in Nigeria, intends to build a bigger church than the next; a pen-hold where they can gather and rip off the hoi polloi every Sunday and in the midweek services in between. It is amazing some of the ‘products’ that these guys have sold in the past; total immunity from diseases, untold and unmerited wealth, jobs that are above competences, contracts for which you have no equipment or knowledge. We are even in their boom season; December. Last December, one promised to go to the village and await travelers and protect them from the witches in their villages! Why sow fear in the hearts of people? Why plant enmity where none existed? Most of them promise years upon years where no member will have any hitch in their jobs, lives, finances or marriages. But empirical evidence show these promises to be untrue, and indeed impossible.

Yes fear and greed are their chief stocks in trade. Nigerians are fearful, and yes, one would say greedy too. Or so it seems. Anyhow it pans out, we seem to respond favorably to people promising us that we shall oppress our neighbors, or that God will strike us down if we don’t pay up some of his dues. While many corrupt big men on the Muslim side take delight in building mosques in front of their houses as if to say “Dear Allah, this is your own part of the loot”, the poor Christians are told in most That building collapsed because religion is now Nigeria’s surest and biggest business. It is by far better, and more enjoyable, than even politics. Politicians in Nigeria, genuflect and kowtow to religious leaders, for they are governed by fear and confusion, and so obtain their every instruction from these (mostly) conmen, many of whom are integrity challenged churches these days to singularly focus on building their own wealth and grabbing the opportunity when it arises no matter whose ox is gored. Because of this teaching, many have become fraudulent in their places of work. Many have stolen billions and donated to the ‘church’. More than ever before, the church especially became conduit pipes for corrupt money, always open to collect a tenth of every money fraudulently made, plus a generous offering or assistance towards a church project. But God is wiser than all these people.

I sometimes pity some of the pastors or church ‘owners’ for they themselves have lost the essence of living - if they ever knew it. They have acquired billions and trillions, and the church in Nigeria has today become richer than the government. Money has to be for a higher purpose than showing off to your neighbors and acquiring every earthly nonsense like mansions, cars and properties all over the world. If so-called men of God cannot see this, then who will? In reality, many of these men of God merely mock God. When men say they are of God and they swim in a sea of silver and gold, are so disconnected from humanity, have no sense of social justice, revel in wine and beautiful women and luxury, then it is nothing but mockery. Not even the fact that people die everyday is enough to humble these guys and show them their own very folly.

And everyday they teach toxic lessons

Just yesterday the fight on social media was about someone giving a testimony that after praying to God, he changed the sexes of their twins from girls to boys in the womb of their mother; as if girls are unworthy children! Imagine the illiteracy, the sheer backwardness that our superrich churches are promoting among our people. I personally don’t believe they are of God, and I believe that if Jesus Christ - by whose name Christians are called - would visit Nigeria today, he will be totally livid, and would overflow with anger, at what Nigerians have done in his name. He may advocate that this land be destroyed totally like Sodom and Gomorrah because our sins are even more in this country today.

The Uyo church is a metaphor for Nigeria, where we have since been competing to build the church with the largest church auditorium in the entire world. Redeemed has one, that is 3kilometres in length and in breadth. It is never empty. People tumble over one another to attend and receive ‘anointing’ there. I tried to attend one of those crusades once - at the Lagos National Stadium when the church was still small, sometime in 1996. We were so many at the gates and when the gate was eventually opened, the mad rush was something else. I fell, was almost trampled to death and vowed never again to go near such places. I asked myself, what was/am I looking for? Would I say, out of His own grace and kindness God has not done enough for me? In the service that day, I was shocked at the physical security provided when offering (donation) was going on, how nobody was allowed to move an inch beyond the human cordon, for fear someone will steal some money. The ushers barked down at whoever dared to cross their cordon. Even the bank MD who invited me was treated shabbily, as we waited and waited for over an hour for offering to be over, while dancing to boring songs from Ebenezer Obey, who had by then turned a gospel singer and was on hand for that crusade. It is all business. More next week.