Desperate times, an unhinged people – I

Don’t get it twisted; it is not the desperate times that created these unhinged people. The people had been unhinged before the desperate times came, even though the desperate times are now swelling the ranks of the unhinged. Yes; now, both desperate times, and totally unhinged people cohabit in the space called Nigeria. Nigerians are a people who do some of the craziest things for the craziest of reasons, though I’m more concerned today with what we call corruption, which I have always argued underestimates and belittles the problem that we really have.

Nigerians are not corrupt. We weren’t born corrupt. But what hails us is far worse and needs to be urgently discussed.

Take for instance the case of Andrew Yakubu, one of the previous GMD of NNPC, who stashed in some nondescript mud house in a poor area in Kaduna, the sum of $9.8million or well over N4billion, among other foreign currencies. The man, Andrew, was reputed to be one of the most decent GMDs NNPC has ever had, such that some people - including the then opposition party APC complained when he was replaced.

Others were there before Andrew, others have gotten there after him. All of them without exception have their own stashes of dollars, perhaps more than Andrew’s.

Many people are saying that Andrew is really unsmart; they ask why would he leave all that money in some safe in some run down house in Kaduna?

I will attempt to psychoanalyse what could have happened. But first, we need to remember that Andrew supervised Nigeria’s oil sector where they complain about too much subsidy going to the people, where they increase our pain by increasing prices of these staple products because we have no choice.

Andrew presided over an NNPC that has been declaring losses for ages, yet he had that stash and that is the one we can see. Andrew, and the rest of them who have impoverished this country and who delight in the mass poverty they have created deserve the hottest parts of Hell.

But wait; what sort of educated man keeps that much dollars in some house? Someone made an analysis that if he spends N250,000 daily - including weekends Andrew will need just over 51 years to finish that money.

And he still has other monies, plus dozens of properties, many of them earning for him. There are two things; one, it is possible that these ‘lucky’ Nigerians who get to these positions just get the monies shoved in their faces by all sorts of people who want some huge government patronage or the other.

In which case they offered little or no resistance, and then the floodgates opened. Maybe they didn’t know the money will be this much and are now stuck with tons of cash of which they do not know what to do with.

Or secondly, one begins to ask how people could be so extremely stupid - not greedy because greed does not explain this mental state as to go after such amounts just to prove a point.

Many Nigerians will readily allege that these government officials actively go after these bribes. Maybe that is the case. Any new appointee strives to make more raw cash compared with the guy before him. And the story goes on and on.

It is a sickness which we haven’t properly diagnosed. These momentary sensations of outing one big thief or the other does not approach solving the problem.

Many times these cases fizzle out and the alleged criminal simply continues to mingle with the rich and powerful. Most Nigerians have got to the level where they will tell you that if they were appointed today, they will also go for their own heists.

The situation is almost hopeless. The Buhari approach to attacking corruption is half-baked and dishonest in part. I will explain further shortly.

Most of those who lead Nigeria at different levels are men. And we could easily decompose that mindset because men want to impress others. Everybody wants to be the go-to guy for favours. Money buys power and that they say is today’s politics. In my little sojourn in politics I have been told often that since our generation does not possess the money to dole out to Nigeria’s perennially poor majority, we should forget about making an impact.

We have told those who care to listen that we are here to change how politics is being done. All the politicians who have the money to dole out in tiny bits to the population that they have deliberately kept in penury and confusion are people like Andrew Yakubu.

Not only have most of them not created anything tangible in their lives or added value to anything, most of them are total dimwits, even if they are quick to do violence in order to maintain their positions.

I pity those young people who do not see all the signs that point to the fact that we should do away with the entire shebang and are ready to continue playing this politics that is taking Nigeria straight to the gates of Hell.

Men sometimes compare the sizes of their houses, cars and even private parts… the bigger the better. The silliness of the entire venture does not occur to us while we are engaged in this childish practice.

Nigerian men in particular seem to be stuck at a stage in human evolution where man is measured strictly by these things; houses, cars, the women they acquire and whatnot. Our music says it all. The rest of the world has since moved on and men are doing great things for their country, for their people. But the women who have served Nigeria at different levels have also shown much prowess in the art of stealing it must be said; after all a grade level 12 woman civil servant was recently announced by EFCC of having ‘owned’ 63 houses which was recently seized. Diezani Madueke, Stella Oduah, and Mama Peace (with her $15million deposit at Skye Bank and elsewhere) are still fresh in mind. I would however say that in my humble opinion, the ladies learnt from the guys who illdefined the ethos of leadership in Nigeria. Recall Okotie-Eboh and his long robe which one boy was employed to tie around his neck about ten metres away!

The insanity is much. It is unbelievable and unconscionable. Nigerian public officers have no pity. Even the ones who are serving now are like that. I know at least two ministers whom I’ve heard said elsewhere that they moved hundreds of thousands of dollars in their car booths anywhere they went. They probably still do.

These were broke men who never did any real work in their lifetimes and had no career. They get into government and public funds become theirs to spend freely, while they hound poor businesses for more taxes.

We can see several video clips of people swearing down that something is afoot, that a rebellion is coming. We can see students shouting down and pointing fingers in the faces of governors. We can see the ease with which Nigerians are demonstrating. Indeed enough is enough. Nigerians will soon take their own destinies in their own hands.

My analysis of what happens to the likes of Andrew Yakubu is that they are transfixed. Transfixed like a deer is with oncoming lights of a car. The money is way too much. They have stopped thinking. They just cannot think. Be careful what you ask for.